Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
Today, my friend and I decided to have a "special intimate" moment together at his house. As soon as I start to really get into it, he said to me, "I sort of wanna do your mom." Way to kill the mood. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Bleep_fml 0
What kind of attention ***** discusses raunchy details of their sex life on the bus, loud enough for others to hear, anyway?
offmycloud 0
Eww. You're THAT person on the bus, who talks about the dumbest, most disgusting things as loud as you can. You totally deserve it.
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Comments (220)
xOpheliacx 0
Yeah, seriously, if you're gonna talk about sex in public don't go into "raunchy details." No one wants to listen to that.
Aryss 0
Don't have a phone convo on a bus, period, unless it's an emergency of some sort. Seriously. Read a book, have a nap, gaze out the window. What's so important that it can't wait you getting off the bus to discuss it?
eeejit0102 0
people like you are the reason i hate public transit. YDI, stop being a self absorbed brat.
Atropos_fml 0
#52, they may not have known the mother was on the bus, but that's no excuse to loudly brag about their sex life. It's disgusting, rude, and nothing anyone else wants to hear about.
adam10_fml 0
attention *****
wh0regasm 0
ouch YDI
flavadog 0
YDI retards like u SUX to sit next to on the bus! seriously NOBODY likes a attention ***** braging about her life! especially not on the bus
xHaniffax 0
omg I HATE people like you why not just get a speaker phone? you completely deserve it in fact it should have been your boyfriend instead of his mum and he should dump you brainless *****.
adam10_fml 0
10 bucks says she is fat - they always feel the need to discuss sex
nonynony 0
52, the mom being on the bus was an unfortunate coincidence. The fact that the OP was even talking about it loudly enough for others to hear in the first place is what makes her rude and self-absorbed. As a rule of thumb, when in public places, PLEASE always assume that the person behind/in front of/next to you is someone you don't want to overhear your conversation. It could be your grandma, your boss, your Sunday School teacher, whoever. Just pretend like that's always the case, and you won't share inappropriate details with people who really DON'T WANT TO KNOW.