Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
Today, my friend and I decided to have a "special intimate" moment together at his house. As soon as I start to really get into it, he said to me, "I sort of wanna do your mom." Way to kill the mood. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Bleep_fml 0
What kind of attention ***** discusses raunchy details of their sex life on the bus, loud enough for others to hear, anyway?
offmycloud 0
Eww. You're THAT person on the bus, who talks about the dumbest, most disgusting things as loud as you can. You totally deserve it.
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Comments (220)
thebigslim 13
His mom was in the same place as you? Talk about a small world, ah well.... goes to show it's better to know what discretion is at this point than not.
TheBulletPrince 0
No sympathy. YDI, you stupid bitch.
LaTuaCantante 0
oh hell that sucks.but why would you discuss this out loud on a public bus?
MissNae 0
Keep it to yourself.
mayario 0
that isn't exactly the best subject for a bus ride....i mean do you really want all the people around you (including old, creepy men) hearing what you are saying? do it in private next time. YDI
midge19 0
trash. No one wants to hear about your life than they want to hear about the next stranger's life.
Rivlas 0
to #141, whether there's anything wrong with it or not is up to the people involved, just when a girl gives it up right away, most likely the guy won't see her for anything more than a piece of ass until he gets bored. Would you consider the girl that puts out on the first date to every guy girlfriend material?
uzupocky 0
Talking on the phone on a bus, no matter what you're talking about, is annoying to have to sit there and listen to. If it's a quick "I'm on my way," or something, then fine, but please save the long conversations for somewhere private or somewhere people aren't trapped in a confined area with you.
vanityaffair 0
Wow, that's pretty stupid hahaha, way to go. Nobody likes when people talk on buses anyway! Let this be a lesson.
isodufff 0
That is AMAZING. hahaa, i'm always afraid thats going to happen to me!!