Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, my wife is mad at me because I didn’t let our son win at Mario Kart Racing and he cried. I’m sorry, but it’s almost impossible to let a kid win at Mario Kart when he drives his character off every cliff, runs into every obstacle, and pulls 180s to drive down the track in the wrong direction. FML
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
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Top comments
HannahMarshall 6
Mario Kart is a serious game.
ILoveEggnog 7
I didn't know it was legal to marry ten year olds.
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Comments (191)
skyeyez9 25
Don't have sex with him. Whats the point if your hubby is being selfish during the act?
Ruffclue 9
Somebody is taking private lessons from Mario.
dellis44 7
your husband is a wise man
lialikesapplepie 0
Best form of punishment ever! Maybe he'll whip you next, OP! BRING OUT THE HANDCUFFS.
Streetracer15 9
Then he must not like going along time if he does early
Calyx_fml 22
Sit on his face and ride him like a bad pony until you cum a wet mess all over his mouth. Then roll over and go to sleep.
misterjez 15
What's the point of that he'd probably get off too. Hardly punishment.
josephhaynes1990 1
11, it's gotten to the point that I thumb you down when I see your username.
KitaBrah 0
Your husband is amazing!
iwishforagini 4
I would do the same.
Webslinger66 10
I agree with the guy. It's like taking his balls away if you beat him at video games