Kids: Today, I'm a counselor at summer camp. I don't know how to tell...

By Anonymous - 23/08/2017 20:00

Today, I'm a counselor at summer camp. I don't know how to tell the 12-year-old girl in my cabin that I can hear porn playing through her headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 188

You deserved it 290

Kids

Best teeth in the game

Legalize it

Work > Love

By annoyed - 10/02/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 657

You deserved it 18 298

By ugly me - 24/10/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 340

You deserved it 3 604

By Tampax - 30/09/2014 18:46 - Spain - Cuenca

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 210

You deserved it 3 179

By momof2boys - 19/01/2010 09:59 - United States

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 894

You deserved it 5 160

It is weird

By huh? - 28/09/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, my wife called me a pervert and a degenerate for lusting after a teenage girl. I’d found some old pictures from high school and remarked about how sexy she’s always been. It was her I was talking about. I said she’d always been attractive, but liking her as a teen is now weird I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 223

By wrongnumber - 14/01/2011 08:37 - United States

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 520

You deserved it 3 195

By zzdug - 08/02/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 019

You deserved it 5 865

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 010

You deserved it 6 124

By justonce - 23/09/2013 22:38 - United States - Williamstown

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 3 510

Cheer up sleepy dreams

By dead - 31/03/2021 23:00

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 863

You deserved it 5 350

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 570

You deserved it 32 173

By nopissleft - 20/12/2013 21:05 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 921

You deserved it 2 907

By Husband to be....maybe - 09/06/2018 09:00

Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 352

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 21/09/2010 21:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 159

You deserved it 7 871

By ihatemyparents - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my parents confiscated my iPod, because the parents' group they go to came to the conclusion that music is a gateway to anti-social behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 2 720

Everything hurts

By waste - 23/08/2021 16:01

Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 21:30 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 434

You deserved it 3 804

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 221

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 785

You deserved it 30 036

Great input, dad

By shamed - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 726

You deserved it 3 392

By beer guy - 01/12/2010 05:12

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 963

You deserved it 2 475

By Cuppycake - 04/05/2011 05:33 - Canada

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 759

You deserved it 89 458

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 13:00 - United Kingdom - Basingstoke

Today, as a priest, I was invited to the home of a lady who claimed that the face of Jesus had appeared to her. She took me upstairs to her bathroom and... it was poo. She genuinely thought she could see Jesus in the poo sitting in her toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 191

You deserved it 336

By kewlio45 - 01/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 880

You deserved it 6 319

By SharpDressedMan - 13/11/2018 06:00 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 015

You deserved it 317

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 18:00

Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 209

You deserved it 404

Just pish yerself

By Casey - 14/10/2010 18:20 - United States

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 877

You deserved it 4 884

By stinky skunk - 05/09/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 632

You deserved it 6 171

By sal - 19/08/2012 02:48 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 715

You deserved it 4 005

By 1415926 - 22/01/2015 05:22 - United States

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 186

You deserved it 2 746

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 972

You deserved it 4 824

By part time all the time - 23/06/2013 04:37 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 268

You deserved it 3 397

Libertarian dream

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 11:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, it's been 50 hours since our power outage began. The authorities don't seem to be bothered enough to fix the problem and are constantly making excuses for delays. Did I mention my warm water fish are dying from lack of heat, and it's my time off work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 12:25 - United States

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 753

You deserved it 3 311

By onlyslightly - 30/11/2012 08:33 - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 802

You deserved it 4 792

By Jokkim - 20/06/2016 18:24 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I found out I got a 97 on my physics final exam. I was curious about the question I missed, so I went up to my teacher and asked. He was very confused and checked my grade again before telling me, "Oh my bad, it was meant to be a 79." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 298

You deserved it 5 483

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 481

You deserved it 5 055

Love is hell

By singlepringle - 07/04/2021 01:57 - United States

Today, I was having a chuckle at the girl who used to torment me since she’s on her fourth marriage. Then I realized she’s gotten four handsome, rich men to marry her, while I’m still hopelessly single and haven’t had a boyfriend since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 314

Nice try

By johnnycomehelpme - 14/11/2014 00:59 - United States - Skokie

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 3 778

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Top comments

Misoranomegami 16

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 20:03

Don't say it's porn but comment that you can hear something. "Hey I can hear the music you're listening too. You should turn it down to a safe level" or "Hey that tv show sounds pretty loud. Can you turn it downa few notches?" It's all about the plausible deniability.

pjsr 32

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 21:26

Why beat around the bush? (see what I did there?). Just say, 'Hey, I can hear that!' She'll likely be embarrassed enough, it won't happen again.

Misoranomegami 16

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 20:03

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 20:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

raven_of_azarath 34

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 20:38

I'm pretty sure if it's happening in a GIRL's cabin, then OP is a girl. Girls can't exactly "rub one out."

azouwa 26

Wednesday 23 August 2017 20:58

Trust me. Yes we can.

anAmericanGuy50505 6

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Thursday 24 August 2017 20:10

Pretty sure that's exactly what happens...

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 20:41

Actually, the first time I heard the term, a girl was telling me she was going to do just that. Turns out, I’m pretty good at phone sex.

mimimomomo 5

Wednesday 23 August 2017 21:03

Except that the OP is probably much older than the 12 year old girl, so your suggestion is a form of sexual abuse....

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 22:25

mimimomomo, My suggestion is clearly absurd. You need to lighten up.

pjsr 32

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 21:26

Why beat around the bush? (see what I did there?). Just say, 'Hey, I can hear that!' She'll likely be embarrassed enough, it won't happen again.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 22:11

How about "Hey I can hear that you're watching porn..."

Elijahboi86 2

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 23:30

Lol

gobiteme2 34

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Wednesday 23 August 2017 22:12

It works really well if you move your lips, sounds will come out just for them into words.

Lalala579121 27

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Thursday 24 August 2017 11:37

I tried that, the only sounds that came out were of me opening and closing my mouth. Help?

jfsiv 17

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Thursday 24 August 2017 0:31

It's called being the responsible adult. It's What you were hired for.

marthamydear23 9

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Thursday 24 August 2017 2:58

Jesus. just tell her. You're supposed to be in charge and that's not appropriate

hunterseal 18

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Thursday 24 August 2017 3:28

Take her devices away, call her parents

GhostFox 33

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Thursday 24 August 2017 6:16

Oh, yeah, that will have a lasting effect aside from making her resent adults. Did it occur to you that if she's watching porn it COULD be because her parents aren't exactly stellar examples of humanity? If she's only watching it, then it isn't going to do her any major damage unless her life is so devoid of meaningful input from other people that she develops an addiction.

Ric Gray 10

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Monday 18 September 2017 23:04

its nice to blame the parents, but, has it occurred to you that she just might be a sexual deviant? sometimes things aren't as deep rooted as you assume theyvare... just saying

Chinaski76 15

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Friday 25 August 2017 2:29

In the US, at least, it is illegal for minors to view or be in possession of pornography. By not putting a stop to this, either by confiscating the device or telling a superior or the girl's parents, OP could be opening herself and the camp to legal or liability issues, not to mention complaints from the parents of other children who might also be hearing or seeing it. And while there may be nothing necessarily harmful in the girl watching porn (it could just be innocent curiosity), aggressive or unusual preoccupation with sex/pornography at that age could be an indicator of abuse or that the child is being groomed. OP either needs to find a tactful way to talk to the girl or being this to the attention of a superior in the camp. At the very least, it is highly inappropriate.