Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
airborn54 0
Dear God I hope there was not a threesome
LemonStarship 5
D: That face says it all.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
leslyy8282 0
disturbing
Bloothebawss 9
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
LizzJizz 16
Fckn raunchy..buy new couches. Lol....sick, old saggy wrinkly vag alll over yo couch!!!?
PlasmaVirus 4
Were they nice socks?
KickItHigh 32
That's a lovely site.
aardvarkish 17
Threesome? (Wouldn't be the first time...)
aknight14 0
scary...
smallory42 0
not a pretty site in the morning....
UniqueCliche 0
That is sitcom-worthy. you should look into getting your own reality show.
KLern 0
well at least someone had a good night...