Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
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Top comments
nadnerbz 6
Here come all the weed debates...
kamikrazy 6
Police officer: How high are you. Pothead: No officer, it's "Hi, how are you"?
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Comments (191)
woeisme134 0
this reminds me of an episode of that 70's show. you know, except for the ending up in tears part.
melrose90210 10
I know exactly which one you're talking about! It's actually one of my favorites :)
Irishness 1
I strongly disagree I smoke everyday And I successfully manage a four million dollar business
the_shrink 2
Sure you do...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Likely story.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
And the online game Hemp Tycoon does NOT count.
Irishness 1
And I'm sure your fantastic career opportunity gluing fake hair to people's head's is really panning out
DocBastard 40
Irishness - Making a personal, racist attack like that does nothing but expose you as an asshole.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
380- Jokes on you. My career path is to become an engineer. And in case you were wondering, my hair is all real, thanks.
howrudoin 11
Way i see it weed isnt much of a difference from alcohol. Theres people that drink and waste their lives too. Its a matter of control. People can drink and party on weekends and still be productive human beings monday-friday, just like people can smoke and party on weekends and still manage to be productive on workdays.
Magik0420 3
Learn the truth for yourself and decide if it's bad or not. Yeah a lot of people that smoke are losers, but that's because those people were already losers, it's not the drug that made them that way. I use it as medicine for seven psychological disorders and it works way better than all the pills doctors have given me over the years, and I'm not a loser. My sisters fiancé smokes everyday and owns his own computer business and lives in a four bedroom house. All I'm asking is for you to do some research and then decide for yourself.
the_shrink 2
If you're diagnosed with 7 psychological disorders you're likely carrying at least 5 misdiagnoses. Might want to get a better psychologist. Just a friendly piece of advice from your friendly FML neighborhood shrink.
jeezlebauckle 0
I just started smoking weed a year ago, smoked weed almost every day this past school year. Brought my grades up enough to get an academic scholarship to college this fall.
youngroach_fml 0
shiiii i smoke weed almost errday and im on my way to graduate in 2 years just learn to control it and only smoke at the right times
Peachy2392 26
Using words like "errday" makes it hard to believe you're graduating from anything.
horneyhic 15
Drugs are bad all ppl who use them are a drain on society and should be imprisoned so they can't pass on there evil habits
Ray_of_midnight 23
Normally I think that weed is pretty harmless but if you can't stay sober to have a conversation with your parents, and you agree that your life isn't what it should be, maybe it's time to take a hard look at your use of recreational substances and maybe get to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Good luck.
omnomnicon 9
This would be great except pot isn't a narcotic
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Narcotics Anonymous" is kind of a misnomer, I agree. They cover all kinds of substance abuse, not just opiates. But that's what it's called. Probably got named back in the 1960s when all illegal drugs were referred to by some people, mostly police, as "narcotics".
IW_RIOT 7
If its constant then it's not a good thing. I would say its ok in moderation. Like its not good to drink soda everyday or watch tv that's why you should do it in moderation just like smoking.
Sammie_Girl83 4
George Washington's biggest crop was weed.... And he amounted to great things. Weed doesn't make you a lazy ****, YOU make you a lazy ****.