Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
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Top comments
Kulawend 0
I think it's pretty messed up they didn't try and give you the heimlich or something...
cookieinc 0
hey who cares wut ur bosses thought breathing is much more important
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Comments (44)
sodahhhr 0
#34 that was the FUNNIEST COMMENT EVER LMAOOOOROLFFL too bad I deliteid it (: DX
pulpfiction_fml 3
YDI for giving your bosses blow jobs in public. Save that shit for later, in their office, with the door locked, like any sane person trying to get a raise a little more quickly would. Also, if that's how you're gonna impress them, learn to do it properly. And don't impress them too much, or they'll give you more work than you can swallow.
apedosmil 0
#13 LOL
happy_animal_lov 0
wow, those bosses must have a crazy high sperm count if she has to chew the cum!
sweetj2 0
well what else are you gonna do? choke to death???
Liamj774 36
Well duh, OP just had to be impolite and save their life
Crusheddd 0
wtf how can you excuse yourself to the bathroom while your choking?! It would come out like "I eed ou o oo atoom" wtf?!? Think before you say!
Loosicles 0
YDI for not knowing how to chew.
8WeAreYoung8 4
You don't have to chew excellently to prevent choking, sometimes when you're laughing, talking or swallowing it just happens.
Compass 0
You pulled it out with your finger? You could have made it worse. You're supposed to either Heimlich yourself or thrust onto a chair or table in a similar fashion.
Compass 0
If you excuse yourself to the bathroom while choking, it only increases your chance of dying since there may be no one to help.
happy_animal_lov 0
excuse yourself to the bathroom when you start choking. just try to cough, smile a bit, put up a finger, then walk quickly to the bathroom
angelicdemon 0
chew your food better dumass!
abbeycakes 0
god created plants too, idiots.