Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
It's funny how if this was a guy doing it to his girlfriend, people would be insulting OP to no end.. Instead people are mocking the boyfriend. No one likes being called chunky, or fat. Especially if he's one of those people who work really, really hard on their bodies.
NonComedogenic 2
awww
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Comments (184)
cjgqsmooth 0
YDI for goin out with Ronnie from jersey shore
ohlordy101 0
you were joking, I mess with my boyfriend all the time and he does the same with me. he shouldn't have taken it that badly, they're some serious emotion issues with him there. But at least you know that's not a subject to joke with there, even though he should know he looks good
waywil 0
Shouldn't pick on a guy that is on his menstrual cycle! To make it up to him offer him one of your tampons, take him to get his nails done, and then take him shoe shopping!
lifecontroller 2
Wow
Jim717 1
what a baby. he sounds Very insecure.
Livzii 5
that's mean of u
Gerrito 0
Haha wanker with no self esteem
sillyme90 0
what a baby xD
chasonsbk_fml 0
looks like someone's on droid!!!
PawsUp_fml 2
that's great...so I should be crying all the time? Plus op sounds like she likes kinda chubby guys. :P