Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
It's funny how if this was a guy doing it to his girlfriend, people would be insulting OP to no end.. Instead people are mocking the boyfriend. No one likes being called chunky, or fat. Especially if he's one of those people who work really, really hard on their bodies.
NonComedogenic 2
awww
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Comments (184)
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, Welcome to the world of intentional beauty, where desirable physical appearance is the sole defender against crushing emotional insecurities! ...but seriously, I'd inquire as to wtf was up. Maybe you just hit a chord that had little or nothing to do with your comment at all. Emotions are odd things. ...or you're dating another pretty d-bag. /shrug
reridore 0
So if I guy is concerned about weight and the pressure society puts on him to be thin he's a pretty d-bag? Are you an idiot? Males can have eating disorders too. If the OP had said "girlfriend" you wouldn't call her a vain bitch, you'd say she had a problem and needed support. Obviously the OP's boyfriend does too. Gender makes no different where anorexia, binging and purging, and exercise bulimia are concerned. Or even just weight sensitivity.
justanotherhuman 21
yikes, sorry on the delay. In order: a.) Not at all. b.) I have my moments. c.) I know they can. d.) No. That's pretension. Pretension will *always* be no, unless it's true or your life depends on using it. If OP said 'girlfriend' instead, I would state the same thing I presumed to have detailed earlier in my statement: as potentially off-topic regarding OP's jest. e.) Disagree with assessment that OP's boyfriend 'obviously' has an eating disorder. Saying his insecurities manifest themselves as an eating disorder is pure assumption. We may only safely infer that his insecurities manifest through his working out and keeping fit, as per context of post. OP inferred through poke and wink that her approach was a sort of coy sarcasm, emphasizing her desire/approval of his standards. f. & g.) I know.
blackaspoop 0
awee poor kid
HikaruZanshii 3
Awww Poor him, Some people can be sensitive so take care next time OP.
AwesomeAustin21 0
You heartless ***** :(
PinkBeatdown 0
metro... nuff said!!!
luisAngelMarrero 0
looks like ur wearing the pants and d*ick in this relationship
acf7597 4
ummm insecure much?
xxSTITCHESxx 4
awww!!
Asystole 0
sounds like a mental disorder to me.
thk1991 5
he's probably mistaken his steroids with estrogen