Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Groucho

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 105

You deserved it 5 246

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Same thing different taste

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 40 454

By mustachio101 - 17/07/2012 23:30 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 635

You deserved it 57 602

Ticklish

By Username - 28/07/2010 11:20 - France

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 467

You deserved it 32 637

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 6 699

By unbelievable - 02/02/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 6 673

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 586

You deserved it 15 226

By Username - 21/04/2011 13:55

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 501

You deserved it 10 181

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 1 324

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 864

You deserved it 68 137

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 121

You deserved it 10 610

TylerX 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

Did I just get an erection?

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

He enjoys the feeling of that peach fuzz caressing his epidermis.

Comments

shift_love 13

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:30

the stache is back and sexier than ever

gtojohn 2

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:02

old Gregg knows all about the mustache and baileys

BaconDave 12

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:31

That's sexy!

raymel 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:31

awk...

Bravo11 14

Saturday 2 July 2011 22:28

Ward?

AsianInvasion1 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:32

i hope it was a yosemite sam moustache. that'd be awesome

AnotherRandomPer 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:32

Dirty Sanchez For The Win?

IWarnedYou 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:22

I've only seen a few of your comments and you're already pissing me off.

mahomie97 7

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:11

WTF are you trynna say u piss me off man

mahomie97 7

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:13

dudeee seriously WTF are u trynna say u piss me offf

JesusFishTaco 5

Sunday 3 July 2011 5:30

77-Aw, don't be so hard on him.

UnderJonathan 8

Sunday 3 July 2011 6:00

LOL He IS annoying...no love from mom xD

rbhockey9 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:32

You should have him wear a bag over his head as a favor haha. it "turns you on"

RileyL29 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:32

So... did you?

cenax27 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 14:54

wat would u do?

sleepyN 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:33

he's a faygo

Mrrevorp 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:35

that explains why he keeps wanting to watch burt reynolds movies ;)

yepyepyepyep 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:37

yes the pic.

Mrrevorp 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:22

lmao it is a pretty awesome pic baha

CryMoreFMLs 14

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:13

My picture = My expression at your picture.

yepyepyepyep 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:36

wtf is he a mario brother brother or some shit?

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Love Public freakouts Weddings Family AITA Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sexism Kids Work Relatable Mental health Growing old Health Cats Animals Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Ironic Bikes

The Top

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 373

You deserved it 1 987

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 553

You deserved it 3 381

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 297

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 984

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 438

You deserved it 3 805

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 179

You deserved it 7 906

Today, I found out my doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stones as constipation. Now, I'm shitting like crazy from the laxatives that he gave me, and I also have to pass a kidney stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 880

You deserved it 1 310

Groucho

Same thing different taste

Ticklish

Woof woof

Bad actor

Yummy

Top comments

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