Today, a bug crawled inside my ear. In a panic, I called my boyfriend to come over and help me. His mother told him to put pee in my ear to kill the bug so it would just fall out. I ended up in the hospital because the pee made the bug want to claw its way out through my eardrum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sweetbliss3 37
um I'm sure tweezers would have worked much better.
cdgrayson 21
I guess that bug was pissed off!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (34)
Raven Ruiz 8
Your fault for letting him pee in your ear.
Lucky O'Guin 18
This FML really bugs me!
bu1vetter 10
Please do not reproduce. If you are gullible/stupid enough to fall for this, then we can’t allow to have more of that in our world
simcityguy09 19
Break up with him. You do not want a person that stupid to be your mother in law.
HippyChicken 4
https://youtu.be/sw8CxyQx4zE