Today, a bug crawled inside my ear. In a panic, I called my boyfriend to come over and help me. His mother told him to put pee in my ear to kill the bug so it would just fall out. I ended up in the hospital because the pee made the bug want to claw its way out through my eardrum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
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Top comments
sweetbliss3 37
um I'm sure tweezers would have worked much better.
cdgrayson 21
I guess that bug was pissed off!
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Comments (34)
Lobby_Bee 18
The best thing to do is tape your ear hole shut and suffacat the damn thing.
Glowworm56 27
That is so awkward. I'm trying to imagine how you guys put the pee in your ear--did you simply put it in a little cup and then poured it in--or did your boyfriend actually do what your title name states and just flat out pissed on you hoping to reach your ear in the process?
Burle 17
Mother in law doesn't like you
gobiteme2 34
You trusted his mother because she has a degree in stupidity.
davecross 11
What in the world possessed you to let you boyfriend put his piss in your ear. You should have called your dr and did what he says or go straight to the emergency room. P.s. I herd on the radio that someone in china had a blast g crawl in his ear and he sprayed raid into his ear
Chazzster 32
Where in God’s name do you live that this should happen to OP?
DragonMaiden7 15
I won't judge you. I can understand in a moment of panic, you will do anything for a solution. However, in future emergencies try to keep a more rational mind (I know, easy for me to say!). The worst thing to do in these instances is panic or you can end up with urine in your ear and a bug in your eardrum.
Neror 13
Your boyfriend's mother is just trying to support him in his fetishes.
Inkoseh 33
Sounds like urine trouble.
SteelSoul5 9
Holy crap now nobody could believe that would happen - chances are less than the lottery - hey maybe you should play the lottery