Health: Gross

Gross

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 5 975

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Slime

By klyoung5 - 03/01/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 416

You deserved it 4 984

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 4 406

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 123

Hanging out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 147

By ripo95 - 26/11/2008 06:18 - France

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 46 562

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 2 303

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 908

You deserved it 4 115

By boogerbrain - 09/12/2009 21:06 - United States

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 154

You deserved it 4 194

Goo

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 00:00

Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 381

You deserved it 8 117

MissGrinch 4

Friday 8 October 2010 2:42

54 and 63, respect other languages please! 1, if you must speak in Spanish, there is a Spanish version of FML for your convenience.

ellice17 3

Friday 8 October 2010 8:53

that snot good for your hair :/

Comments

Jessi2487 0

Friday 8 October 2010 8:15

lmao this is my new favorite FML haha hair gel

ilove_2_poop 0

Friday 8 October 2010 8:51

nasty ass. why didn't you just ask to go to the bathroom right away to wash off your hair and wash your hands! you're filthy.

ellice17 3

Friday 8 October 2010 8:53

that snot good for your hair :/

hairdreser0nfire 0

Friday 8 October 2010 9:08

this made me laugh.

wtfxlily 0

Friday 8 October 2010 9:15

that's nasty

bebacklater 0

Friday 8 October 2010 9:20

hum...fake.

denvan 0

Friday 8 October 2010 9:29

Some super strong hair gel

SilverChrono 0

Friday 8 October 2010 10:03

I sneezed out a pepperoni chunk during lecture. I feel your pain.

superwangsterste 0

Friday 8 October 2010 10:20

haha

FLCL4711Fox 0

Friday 8 October 2010 10:30

I hope some pedobear/perv tried smelling your hair and was like"WTF?! is that boogers?!

laurabev 9

Friday 8 October 2010 15:25

Urgh I had an embarrassing time today with my cold xD That sucks though OP. It will be forgotten soon enough :)

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, we went to a nice place by a river to have a BBQ. Someone then asked if we could move the fireplace somewhere else, so we went to check another spot. We came back to find a dog had eaten all the meat we'd brought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 905

Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 171

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 373

You deserved it 15 991

Today, I was venting to my dog about how my roommate never cleans. I said, “You’re the only one who listens, at least you don’t judge me.” I didn’t realize my roommate was standing behind me holding a trash bag. The dog wagged his tail. My roommate did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 392

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 537

You deserved it 5 813

Today, my dad came home after collecting donations for construction of the temple of Lord Rama, who is known for qualities like patience. Within 5 minutes, he started yelling at my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 115