Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
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Top comments
wishfulthinks 19
Silver linings OP - At least you didn't have to pick it up!
archnarquibquib 21
That's absolutely disgusting. I dry heaved reading that.
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Comments (79)
Khaleesi_D 9
Am I imagining it or is the spelling in the past five posts just really bad?
ebay78 12
the FML people are doing it on purpose. these posts were fine yesterday. it's for April fools
moms11 5
It takes more effort to incorrectly spell came. Why would you purposefully spell cummed? For the attention?
cwenboo 18
The FML staff are doing it for April Fools.
jat_fml 3
coprophilia in the making!!!!
TheLoner7 5
I'm guessing grammar doesn't exist anymore
ProgMetalMan 8
FML staff are doing it for April Fool's. Why don't you look around at other comments before being a dick?
tuxedoandex 28
what a shitty situ- you know never mind
BigSm3lly 9
You're a teacher that can't spell.. America is going places :D
BananaaBread 13
Wow... OP lives in New Zealand, and the staff changed the spelling for April Fools' Day.
elizabeth4166 16
How old is she?
miss_amphetamine 24
This really doesn't sound that bad since it's implied she is a young kid. If she was an adult, well, then, I'd be more concerned.
sally_jangl 13
ewwwww