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Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
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Top comments
X_o_X_ocutie 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
MrNiceGuy518 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
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Comments (415)
LanaBabii252 0
motivational speech?
tnglator 4
anyone else see the irony in 324's post?
brittanyyyleighh 0
congradulations! your post managed to make it into the phone call I just had? I've been laughing ever since my friend read it to me. (: then I found it, and I'm still laughing. thanks for putting a smile on my face!
DelPiero10 0
wierdo
jessicajellybean 0
lol! awkward.... and creepy? don't have any friends so you turn towards good ol' dick... nice
kaylala33 1
You should have said Sorry, its a long story...
kaylala33 1
Oh, and I hope she didn't give you a hard time about it x]
tabasorus 0
what were you talking about?
RyanMacVey 17
aww dont worry mate... ive done that before
Evangeline1 0
YDI, if you wanted some" alone time" then you should have locked the door