I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong per se, you two just have very different sex drives. but the fact that he has demanded that you not request sex on certain occasions, his own birthday included, is kinda sus. you two need to have a serious talk about how this is making you feel, you two just might not be as compatible as you used to be

Pressuring someone into sex is what you're doing love. I feel really bad for this guy, honestly. Man shouldn't have to wait for his BIRTHDAY just to decline doing something he doesn't want to do for with his body. This post has just grossed me out.

I'm in the same boat as you with my wife.

I think it's an unfortunate side effect of our society that we assume men are always willing and have the bigger libido. In circumstances like yours it leaves you feeling like you've done something wrong because he doesn't fit the stereotype. I would almost guarantee this isn't about you. so please take the pressure off of yourself. Obviously I do not know if this is a new situation in your marriage or something that has changed over time - I would recommend having a conversation about relationship counselling. Just explain that nobody's done anything wrong, but you think it would help you to understand his situation better. A good therapist will be able to help you both understand each other's needs and offer a plan to move forward in a way neither of you may have considered. Until then, maybe think about other ways to show intimacy. I know it can be hard in Covid times, but consider making specific date night plans if they aren't already happening, and agree ahead of time how often you'll both organise one. When feeling the need for physical intimacy maybe also consider that instead of asking for sex, because you know how he'll respond, ask if you can cuddle when going to bed. Maybe it will go somewhere else, but maybe it will just be a really nice cuddle.

Hmm, I can understand him not wanting sex all the time but making you promise not to ask for sex on special occasions seems odd to me. I think you need to talk to him and see what is going on, there are many reasons why he may not want sex as often as you. Someone else mentioned the possibility that he is asexual (which is not really wanting sex at all) and there are people out there that don't even know that is a thing.

What you’re doing wrong is staying with him.

it's very simple what's wrong. he's either watching too much **** or he's cheating. there is no deeper problem, if he's not putting your needs ahead of his own selfish ones, put your foot down and tell him it's over if he doesn't change.

He’s probably ******* someone else.

I went through this for ten years. When I refused to ask any more he would work me up and walk off. When nothing he said could make me cry any more he went home to his mommy. I wasted 24 to 34. Run.

He is clearly getting it on the side