Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door. A clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was OK. I have to go back next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
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Top comments
onelove7563 0
you know, you can always have the nurse come in and 'assist' you... haven't you ever seen road trip?
codesniper1313 0
It's just a dry spell. Drink plenty of water and you'll be spraying that jungle juice again in no time!
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Comments (80)
Ms_Thingie 0
I just found out what masturbating means last month and I think it's disgusting but I'm only 12 so FYL for having to **********
Jessaly_fml 0
61...I masturbated when I was twelve, what's the matter with you? Only twelve my ass, the human body is the human body regardless of age.
mongorian 0
ye i wanked when i was 12 too..nothing wrong with that :)
KRS_13 0
many people ********** and its not that disgusting.(i dont do it) im only 13 and only 2 boy i know dont do that. it may seem gross now but maybe when you get older you wont think so???(but who am i to talk im only 13 lol)
justanotherhuman 21
aye, I wouldn't sweat this one too bad. If anything, you get credit for not being a... ah, 'premature' gentleman.
CharliePoops 0
comments closed?
CharliePoops 0
An hour??? Shit, I could push a quicky out in under a minute given the proper atmosphere and reading materials.
iROFLatU 0
if they were somewhat attractive women u should have asked for some help.
stevenmx86 8
Wah?
ex_ff 9
Just don't EVER ask for their help. It involves a finger where it shouldn't be.
lurch87 18
did you find out the hard way?