Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost three months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
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Top comments
doc_j 0
what in the world. a bag a chips? break it to ur husband that hes never gonna do it for you unless he cums skittles in ur mouth from now on
khaya 9
What would you do for a bag of jelly beans?
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Comments (152)
jewelsfml 0
at comment #2. I'm 105 and I got horny thinking of key lime pie!
DreBeezy 9
wow. reminds of the episode of family guy when stewie said that pancakes were better than sex. lol XD
biggestfan23 11
That's sad
Razman201 14
Well guess someone has a slight issue lol.
Yomojo 5
Idgi
kinz223 5
U are sick.
koalallama11 6
I'm glad that food makes you so happy
sugarbear0727 19
That is too funny. And I've never had an ****** that wasnt from self-play. :/ I feel like I'm missing out.
XxQuartersxX 14
Are you like, obese?
absoliutenus 1
fat people man ......just wow ....