Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom at Costco when a janitor forced my door open so she could mop, then didn't bother to close it again. Apparently, the handicapped stall was too big for her to see me sitting in the corner, and I had to awkwardly squat-walk all the way to the door to close it. FML
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Today, my friend and I were having a conversation in the ladies’ room. Suddenly, we hear banging from one of the stalls and, “Can you talk somewhere else? Some of us are trying to poop.” FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
strandedinalimo 0
DO YOU??
Quest_ 13
YDI for being one of those people who don't wait for a response after knocking and before entering. Knocking means "Is it okay if I come in?", not "I'M COMING IN NOW!!!"
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Comments (165)
angrynegro7 16
You do realize OP, that in those same five minutes, you could have broken her hip. Problem solved.
anela_fml 0
rofl I'm a caregiver for seniors and never had one yell at me like that
ChicaChica5683 0
I think it's time she went to a nursing home.....she sounds a bit...angry?? haha
TryToBeKind 0
You deserved it for not waiting for a response before ripping the door open. Not everyone responds right away. Besides, it's annoying when people come into stores JUST to use the restroom because that means employees (who might only have a few precious minutes during a long day) or customers who are actually PAYING have to wait. Hold it until you get home
xxXChiiXxx 2
Not everyone has a steel bladder. And wether you are a paying customer, or a person walking in to use the bathroom, either way you have to wait. :P
DJuan 0
@ coocumber: forgive my assumption . I haven't been to every starbucks but it makes no sense that there isn't more than one, especially if there is one unisex one. coffee and things made with coffee make people have to shit . starbucks fails for not caring for it's customers
anonhxc 0
******* old people
BlueTwist89 0
K seriously? Why didn't you walk away and find a different bathroom to use? YDI, for standing there and taking others people's shit.
FuBarr 0
AND GET OFF OF MY LAWN!
cartius 0
I think most starbucks have the one toilet rooms that lock from the inside that u have to knock on to see if some random old lady is ******** in before u open the door lol.
5upernova 3
Five minutes? I am assuming that means the person who posted this FML actually stood there to let the old lady yell at her with the bathroom door opened (with or without the pants pulled up). O___O