Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom at Costco when a janitor forced my door open so she could mop, then didn't bother to close it again. Apparently, the handicapped stall was too big for her to see me sitting in the corner, and I had to awkwardly squat-walk all the way to the door to close it. FML
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Today, my friend and I were having a conversation in the ladies’ room. Suddenly, we hear banging from one of the stalls and, “Can you talk somewhere else? Some of us are trying to poop.” FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
strandedinalimo 0
DO YOU??
Quest_ 13
YDI for being one of those people who don't wait for a response after knocking and before entering. Knocking means "Is it okay if I come in?", not "I'M COMING IN NOW!!!"
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Comments (165)
gagtjs 0
shit on her head
Gator3LS 0
I'm surprised you had the patience to stand there like a dumbass. GTFO
DeservedIt 0
She should be euthanized. For being crazy and for going number 2 in public washrooms.
flufffypants 0
Fakemylife
sourgirl101 28
Most Starbucks only have one large bathroom for each of the sexes. Unless you're at a extremely large coffee house. I would have just used the men's. Who wants to wait and then smell a shity bathroom afterwards?
LadyDraigen 3
Just a slight bump and you wouldn't have had to listen to that beat up old record skipping for 5 minutes. i would have just laughed at her though. Bet she was shaking her little old granny fist at you too.
Smackaho 0
I don't find it necisary to put a pic on here
Smackaho 0
if my parents made me shut off my xbox I would f there shit up ok towel head stay in a terrorists place diaper head
Resquall 0
Don't you love it when an idiot proves your point?
youthink_fml 0
YDI for going to starbucks. YDI twice for going to starbucks to use the bathroom.