Facebook political debates

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 01:01 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I found out that my father uses, "You eat poo for breakfast!" as a comeback during political arguments on Facebook. He’s 60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 105

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Same thing different taste

By IceWrath - 16/08/2015 08:14 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 2 413

By fugachumi - 07/08/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 826

You deserved it 3 509

By K.. - 07/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 840

You deserved it 3 719

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 563

You deserved it 8 199

Livin' la vida loca!

By Mike - 07/08/2022 18:00

Today, I realized my life is very similar to my dad’s, except I’m only 55 and he’s almost 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 222

Can't be unseen

By my poor eyes - 15/02/2021 16:01 - United States - Danville

Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 87

Good to hear from you

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 19:26 - United States - Grandville

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 500

You deserved it 2 500

Enough with the puns

By fuckmuppet - 27/05/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 722

You deserved it 7 477

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 4 951

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 115

Bogrbon 27

Saturday 17 October 2020 17:20

People like your dad are why you should never read the comment section online. (As I post this in the comments section.)

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 18 October 2020 0:41

Yes, but when there's a good chance that one of my golden comments is going to be there, it's worth the risk!

Comments

lev 11

Saturday 17 October 2020 15:31

these political arguments are why I don't open Facebook any more.

samomaha 17

Saturday 17 October 2020 16:26

Me too, Lev. FB is just not worth all the arguments and attacks. I'm told by friends that this year has been excrutiatingly painful there.

Bogrbon 27

Saturday 17 October 2020 17:20

People like your dad are why you should never read the comment section online. (As I post this in the comments section.)

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 18 October 2020 0:41

Yes, but when there's a good chance that one of my golden comments is going to be there, it's worth the risk!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 17 October 2020 18:18

Is he a QAnon guy?

genuinegoodguy 9

Sunday 18 October 2020 0:54

Is your father the British Prime Minister?

uniformed 13

Sunday 18 October 2020 1:57

sorry you're father is a Democrat.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 18 October 2020 10:23

Probably. We all know what Republicans eat for breakfast. Look at Mitch McConnell's smile.

kfchicken 31

Sunday 18 October 2020 4:26

everyone is being so judgemental or associating him with a political party. bunch of poo eaters smh

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 19 October 2020 0:50

Tell your dad I fart in his general direction.

Keywords

Awkward Music Party Education Love Students Exams Kids Jealousy Animals Dogs Work Embarrassing Annoying Coffee Scary Geek Boredom Fire Break-ups Cheating Scams Intimacy Sex Health Alcohol Relatable Family AITA Wake up

The Top

Today, I've been job searching desperately for years. I'm always either rejected or the places just do not contact me, or they are too far away. No license and no cell service. Not even a Thanksgiving meal this year. I wanna give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 96

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 451

The Top

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 679

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 4 020

Today, my fiancé and I had to attend a wedding. Problem is, I suffer from a severe form of social anxiety. Since I was getting too close to a panic attack, he suggested drinking some wine to help me stay calm, and it worked. Up until I got drunk and threw up in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 393

You deserved it 2 773

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 91

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 841

You deserved it 5 288

Today, after years of being guilted for never attending family gatherings, I told my aunt that seeing her son’s face is triggering for me, because he sexually assaulted me as a child and our family swept it under the rug, and acted like it never happened. She told me to grow up, and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 145