Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML
Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
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Top comments
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
And that's why...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
What. The. ****?
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Comments (235)
CsHx 16
It says you're a female..so are you a lesbiab?
mercsl65 7
Well now that you know why you are single what are gonna do about it? Just try talking to girls. Not flirting, just talking. In fact start with ugly ones, that way if they reject your conversation attempt it won't hurt as bad. Because they are ugly. Baby steps.
mercsl65 7
I said girls because I didn't think girls liked ****, let alone cartoon ****, and I didn't look at the sex symbol. My bad. But the advice works in reverse except the ugly guys won't say no.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
*facepalm*
lilhellian 27
People always assume the worst will happen.. Nothing will change unless you try. I personally didn't come out of my shell till this past september when I asked for a girls number.. *Is a senior*
happle 21
If you're as shallow as 13, you'll never get a girlfriend. You'd be lucky enough to have just a friend.
lilhellian 27
Cheer leaders have "friends" so Op has a chance..
mercsl65 7
Now there's no sex symbol. I think op messed up. Therefore my original post still stands. You have to work your way up to the Halle berry's by stepping on the Cameron diaz's
badbadkitty 5
It sounds like you and your friend should discuss something more than friendship!
Zacham 5
plenty of girls are into that.
dathan 14
I'm really sorry for saying this, please don't kill me, but that escalated quickly.
TurquoiseJesus 15
Butt hat?
Kiki242 19
Cartoon ****? Really?
kemando 22
God, anime =/= cartoon.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Cartoon **** is rule 34. Hentai can be just some random anime girl being used as a tentacle cozy.
CharresBarkrey 16
136 - Anime are Japanese cartoons. That is the actual definition. So, yes, anime = cartoon.
kemando 22
In the same vein that coffee = espresso. Or boxers = briefs, sure they're both underwear, but they are marginally different.
ICastillo 25
Well there's your problem right there. You're more interested in Japanese sex toys than woman. And more interested in seeing cartoon characters being raped by tentacle monsters instead of real life women ****.
Life_sucks_13 6
Lol tentacle monsters. XD
Bekll 31
The hentai and sex toys aside, you two should be more supportive of each other in that you'll find girlfriends some day instead of going with "misery loves company" and feeling hopeless. I'm single and a friend of mine is recently single after a heartbreak but we keep each other going saying it'll all work out in the end giving each other advice.
firepanda11 7
Are you a lesbian because your thing shows a female gender icon
heart_aussie_fml 20
Your friendship just got deeper...yayks