Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML
Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
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Top comments
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
And that's why...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
What. The. ****?
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Comments (235)
HyperSquirrel 8
I'm rather curious about how they went from talking about not having girlfriends to hentai ****..
kemando 22
I think it went the other way around, from the wording it SOUNDS like they figured they wouldn't get girlfriends because of the hentai and toy conversation. I may be mistaken.
kemando 22
^^i re-read the fml a bit, and my statement is incorrect. Carry on.
buckdharma 38
Has anyone seen the vidia, Cuffs And Collars? Just remember, head to feet, won't cause a leak, feet to head, we'll all wind up dead, i'll tell you what.
jem970 19
Ok... I'm 19 years old and I still have no clue what this is.... Who wants to explain this to ignorant little me?
olpally 33
Google it :) google is your friend.
jem970 19
I did... Ignorance IS bliss....
olpally 33
Yeah, lol.
jem970 19
To bad I had my filter turned off already when this craziness hit... People should warn others!
olpally 33
I should have warned you. Lol oops. Sorry!
AtomicRebirth 11
Protip: When (or if) you actually do land a date, don't mention your hentai **** collection.
tigerfight23 3
What did I just read?
kemando 22
Meh, you can still like hentai and get a girlfriend. It's just like **** in general, just don't be an effin creeper... Or talk to anyone about it, my god. Who talks to people about **** anyway (besides jokingly). Get your shit together. -.-
kemando 22
Revision**Meh, you can still like hentai and get a girlfriend. It's just like **** in general, just don't be an effin creeper... And dont make it public knowledge, nobody needs to know your sexual hobbies. Be more confident, and maybe find a girl interested in anime, manga and stuff, she may be more accepting if she does find out.
jdmur 6
I love spontaneous conversations like that!
Shenannigoats 16
I fail to see the problem here.
aJaguarinRed 9
That seems like a logical turn of events!
Katilikesturtles 3
Hentai ;)