Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML
Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
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Top comments
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
And that's why...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
What. The. ****?
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Comments (235)
trulymickeyj 13
And for some reason, you can't get a girlfriend??? Mysteries of the World...
SophieTheSnail 4
Where's #9?
Azula272 14
There is a phenomenon among some Japanese youth where they feel isolated and daunted by the standards they are expected to meet in society. They become NEETS (google it) that are antisocial and live off relatives, these people, obviously intimidated by members of the opposite sex, turn to Hentai and Otaku obsession to satisfy some of their urges, sometimes marrying the fictional object like it was their beloved. (Google that too, I've seen a marriage to a full body sex toy, a DS dating sim character and a love pillow cover).
Azula272 14
NEET is a government acronym for people currently "not in education, employment, or training". http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NEET#section_1
xxjaysusxx 7
Well, real girls are 3DPD anyway. Don't worry, you'll find a waifu to love and care for one day OP.
hopef33110 7
aw hey my bf believed he'd never find anyone but then I found him! and were happy love can be found anywhere
hopef33110 7
I promise just be yourself there are good girls out there who won't give a damn about anyone else but u
skullofdarkness 18
Love can be found anywhere… really… first of all where did you and your bf meet, second, I don't see too many people falling in love in funeral parlors…
skyeyez9 25
I just googled "hentai ****" because I never heard of it. What. The. ****?
kemando 22
Do you even internet bro?
xplainphrox 8
Hentai ****...?!!! Seriously..???? I didn't know what it was - beyond obviously being **** - so I looked it up... Watched a 30 minute video... Def ****... But seriously...?!!! There is more realistic **** out there... You dont need cartoon ****... The whole mini clip kept me laughing ... #1 when a female cums, she doesnt squirt outside her panties... She soaks through them... #2 it's ****. Why blur out the ****** and penis...??!! Seriously. Guess you have to use your imagination there!!!! #3 the video was a joke!! Laughed the whole time... Rofl
kemando 22
It's illegal to show genitalia in Japan, it has to be censored. Realism in **** is irrelevant, at the end of the day it's all pixels on a screen, and you're never going to get with either, so just enjoy it and fap freely.
charvisioku 22
I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to agree... hentai is pretty hilarious to watch. Anime voice-overs are quite amusing to start with when they're played out of context, so anime **** was always bound to be funny as hell. Nobody makes noises like that. Apart from possibly the rusty fork girl a few FMLs back.
xrainbowshadowx 17
Well that escalated quickly
skullofdarkness 18
I'm not quite sure how this is an FML. Holy shit, two guys talking about hentai and sex toys. Gee, your life really sucks. -_-
skullofdarkness 18
Really? I ask how this is an fml and my comment is moderated? Wow…
dragynfyre 4
Match made in heaven. Enjoy each other.