Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my half-sister stealing money from her mother's purse. Rather than risk getting in trouble, she told her uber-conservative mother that I've been seeing a girl. So now, I'm grounded for being gay, and she gets off the hook for stealing because she outed me. FML
Today, my mom and stepdad finally grounded my horrible, rebellious sister. The problem is that they grounded me as well in order to "keep me in line and make sure that I don't do what she was doing." FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML
Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML
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Top comments
CAPTmok 7
OP's dad has failed in parenting.........
ColdplaySucks 18
Punch her in the face so that the bruise can distinguish her from you.
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Comments (158)
chino627 0
damn that really sucks
ArmyGTO 0
That's awesome! You should be taking advantage of that more often!
jakeisawake 3
Your device should also be able to pop up with a name for the owner of the penis. That way dads know whose ass to lick.
jakeisawake 3
*Kick. Oh damn, how that letter slip brings a whole new meaning to my comment.
FMLephant 2
Your first comment doesn't work well with the pic dude. But it's funny as hell.
sept29 0
thats really ****** up?
Just_ol_Kole 0
that about sums it all up, either that or the dad is just SUPER lazy ha
kaitthegreat 0
that's a bunch of bullshit ! I'd still do whatever ( :
MrGold 0
tig o Bitties :)
jakeisawake 3
Ha, yeah. It's my surprised face for when some dad comes snooping around my ass. I can't say I was prepared for what happened next.
SpectSelf 0
get back at her by having sex with her boyfriend while pretending to be her lol
TheDrifter 24
No, set up dates for places her and her boyfriend are going and then ditch and watch the excitement as your piece of random from online thinks someone is snaking his date.
KVKdragon 26
yeah, if I were in that situation, I wouldn't care what the punishment was, I'd completely ignore it. I'd do whatever it takes to have my way in an unfair situation like this. it's just not right for you to be punished for nothing. also, don't you and your twin have cell phones? maybe your dad would be able to tell the difference by calling both of your cell phones. and even if you switched them with the other twin, he'd still be able to tell since he could ask you questions on when he last called or texted you without letting you look at your phone.
KVKdragon 26
and while you answer, he could look at the call history on the phone. if you got it right, that means it's confirmed that you're the twin that did nothing wrong. he could also make random calls at recent times to your cell to make sure the misbehaving twin doesn't try to memorize what's on your phone and get out of the house.