Sex, Weird, Relatable and Intimacy: Desperate Dan - FML

Desperate Dan

By BKCK4187 - 20/12/2011 03:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 175

You deserved it 6 900

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Same thing different taste

Fragrant

By nooneinparticular - 21/05/2020 08:00

Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 165

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 563

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Spicy

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 914

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 413

You deserved it 11 379

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 971

You deserved it 3 550

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 1 897

By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 06:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 1 580

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 189

You deserved it 60 967

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 170

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Spicy

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 543

You deserved it 8 688

Next

Top comments

ceilingfans 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:22

I found this hard to ********** to

abbytequiere 9

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:23

Oh, you're so dirty...

Comments

SILVERSTAR_6 17

Wednesday 21 December 2011 7:11

This some weird shit...

ambercunningham 7

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:03

At least it's unused rubbish bags that arouse you, rather than used ones.

MonGuillaume 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 18:39

IM NOT THE ONLY ONE

picturescrazy 24

Thursday 22 December 2011 6:34

We use the same trash bags :] Makes sense though, guys tend to like my vanilla-scented body products more than the others, so I'd assume vanilla is an aphrodisiac.

karabear14 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:15

I'm ******* myself right now to that scent and I'm cumming all over my vibrator!!!!!!!

bethal 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:23

You knew her middle name, right?

garret420 3

Sunday 25 December 2011 22:06

I know your pain dude vanilla is amazing

blutigenbonbon 10

Monday 26 December 2011 22:29

LMAO

sodapopper 6

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:19

I can relate. Cinnamon turns me on. I used to make an exgirlfriend chew big red cinnamon gum before we made out...

jimshrimp 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:52

thats quite a "dirty" fetish XD

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom has two workbenches in her basement. They are so cluttered, they have all but disappeared. Now that she’s actually building something, she just uses the chest freezer as a workbench. I’m hungry and my dinner is in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 92

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 564

You deserved it 5 669

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 354

You deserved it 6 163

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 936

You deserved it 7 499

Today, it's cold and rainy. I would like nothing more than to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie with the woman I love; the same woman who cheated on me and took the TV with her when she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 382

You deserved it 4 020

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 940

You deserved it 4 857

Today, while picking up one of my older kids from school, I started talking to another parent. He commented that it had been quite a year in the kindergarten, because every day his kids come home telling stories about two girls, Hannah and Pi, and all the things they did that day. Hannah is my daughter, Pi is her nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 166