Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
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Top comments
ericwashere 0
Thats what you get for not living in an ice fortress
BBGxBlondie 6
Nobody HAS to say it. You CHOSE to make an ass out of yourself.
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Comments (61)
iRiS890 5
This might be a tad off subject... But has anyone actually ever seen a squirrel poop??? No! And it's all because they've been using closets. Check that off the list of things I need to google.
FrecklesXO 8
I know this sounds crazy, but there's these things called washers. You put laundry detergent in there with your sweatshirt and it cleans it with just a push of a button! If my husband's ACU's can survive all the crap he's had to roll around in, then some squirrel shit should be no problem.
jlstough 10
i second this. if i managed to get all of the goat blood out of my husbands acus after bct3, a little squirrel shit shouldn't be hard to wash away. use a little shout, it works wonders.
FrecklesXO 8
Right!? I just got the husband's box home from Afghaniland and was able to get a lot of nasty crap out. He even left me a note that said "good luck." Haha
jlstough 10
Oh gosh, haha. My husband will be home on R&R soon and he has warned me way in advance that he has a few things he wants to wash. By he, he means me, of course, but I don't mind. It can't be anywheres near as bad as the last batch I washed before he deployed. He had been wearing the same PT's and athletic socks for a week /dies
Ironripster 0
shot guns are mighty handy if u already have a hole in the ceiling, why not make another in the floor or wall
Snookie85 19
Ewwww that's just disgusting!
fanceh 10
It's only fair to put the squirrel in his toilet and wait til he uses it...
stacianichole 2
RIP squirrel poop hoodie
gemno333 8
Wow that sucks. Was there toilet paper everywhere?
Lexiebear27 10
Oh no! I would demand a new wardrobe.
DaveDave7 3
Do squirrels even use litter boxes?
yadudej 0
how exactly do you know its from a squirrel if it was already there? assuming you didn't see it since you didn't mention it?