Today, I called my husband asking what kind of flute I'm supposed to pick up for our daughter, as she wants to play an instrument at school. Over the phone, my husband told me, “It’s a skin flute.” The man behind the music store counter wasn't sure how to respond when I told him what I needed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML
Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML
Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML
Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML
Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
Today, I have a new guitar on its way. I forgot to make up a story, so now my wife won't be happy. FML
Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Ok, woah, that is a WILDLY inappropriate joke to make concerning your (extremely likely) underage-and-probably-preteen daughter.
JackWood 21
If the man behind the store offers you his skin flute you should go for it because your husband
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Comments (3)
MidnaLink 35
Ok, woah, that is a WILDLY inappropriate joke to make concerning your (extremely likely) underage-and-probably-preteen daughter.
JackWood 21
If the man behind the store offers you his skin flute you should go for it because your husband
RichardPencil 32
The correct response is: Whip it out. You gotta be ready when a lady offers you a *******.