Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
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Top comments
inner_peace 19
Loose lips sink ships, OP.
Cameron257 14
That's a good way to get fired.
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Comments (96)
Respect101 17
Alright guys, luckily since we were out in the shop( I'm a mechanic), he just laughed and then later pulled me into his office and said it better have been a joke, because there has been some promising applicants lately. As he laid some of the applications on his desk in front of me and proceeded to pat them...
cailey1234567890 24
Damn You're lucky Nofilteritis can be very very dangerous Some side effects are: losing your job, losing friends, and worst case scenario. Getting your ass kicked
Bragi 12
Oopsie...
birdybirdchirp 18
ahh thats something I'd tell my boss and he knows its true...if you work hard you got nothing to worry about...like they say good help is hard to find..
nannyRayRay 14
Bad move haha the things people say without thinking great come-back if a different situation
mclovin22897 15
that's when you laugh and say that you were kidding.
Blahblah9921 4
ooooo burn
TechnicallyWrong 12
And that's when you got fired.
lollypop624 11
That sorta thing happens to me alot!! I h8 it!!
dinocyn 8
RIP job.
poopmylife123 9
So...how's unemployment?