Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
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Top comments
inner_peace 19
Loose lips sink ships, OP.
Cameron257 14
That's a good way to get fired.
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Comments (96)
siggy_mcsigx 22
What a boring reason to have a favourite animal. Your boss sounds awesomely dull and unimaginative.
vikky538 28
YDI
bahamut357 16
Ah, foot-in-mouth syndrome strikes again.
worldclassrager 39
And there goes your job...I would think... Cats are a bit easier to take care of so that might also be on his side
reno1496 6
Oops!
laughmaster 9
Fired
TyChief 8
Bye, bye job.
GentlemanBastard 15
Unfortunate, but hilarious. On a side note, I blame ancient Egypt and their cat fetish as to why cats are such self-important assholes. How can you sleep 18 hours a day, and still have such delusions of grandeur? ******* cats...
marramrammar 2
He will not can you for it! Just laugh a lot regarding it.
metalhead88 9
I hope you added "just kidding" followed by some laughing, that sometimes could save your ass