Miscellaneous: Call the cops

Call the cops

By pleasekillme - 19/04/2013 11:44 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, it's been over three months since my housemates ended their one month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 150

You deserved it 4 471

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Same thing different taste

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since one of my roommates moved out. Despite me telling the postal service he no longer lives here, they're still knocking on my door almost every day with urgent letters addressed to him. I have no idea where he lives now, and am wondering what the fuck he was up to here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 77

Man cave

By Anonymous - 04/10/2023 04:00

Today, it's been about two months since I made my husband sleep in the spare room after an argument. I invited him back to our room after two nights but he refused. Since then he’s moved a TV, Xbox, fridge and new armchair into the spare room, and put a lock on the door only he has a key for. I’ve barely seen him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 2 014

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex-girlfriend who never moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 443

You deserved it 2 894

Get out of there, fast

By LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 137

By screwedhousemate - 28/03/2011 11:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 4 283

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 023

You deserved it 1 136

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 197

You deserved it 1 732

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 101

Yikes

By Charles Pennington - 22/11/2011 11:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 3 375

Unrequited and stuck

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 02:00

Today, I'm crushing so hard on my male roommate that I've basically become a doormat for him. Meanwhile, he's on the phone for hours with the pretty girl he met over Tinder. I feel pathetic, stupid and jealous, which I have no right to be. Worst part, we're still quarantined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 783

datoismyname 22

Friday 19 April 2013 18:43

I think it's time for you to move.

Zebediabolical 40

Friday 19 April 2013 18:43

Call the police. Nothing good is going to come out of letting this slide.

Comments

Thatsjank 5

Friday 19 April 2013 19:50

lol

xkncas 8

Friday 19 April 2013 20:05

Wow...what a creep! You should tell her what he did, just so she knows he is doing this kind of crap... She and you may want to consider him moving out and getting a restraining order.

invisibleFlower 10

Friday 19 April 2013 20:11

That's so creepy!! >,

bdog11 6

Friday 19 April 2013 20:12

I saw This on ifunny

AdoptedSoul 6

Friday 19 April 2013 20:31

lol...at least he had the consideration of picking the lock not just breaking down the damn door...maybe next time you won't be so lucky...or perhaps your roommate...maybe time to take action before things become really serious

BellaBelle_fml 23

Saturday 20 April 2013 0:53

A broken door is hardly at the top of their list of concerns at this point.

lindyloohoo 5

Friday 19 April 2013 21:01

Oh that is dangerously creepy... You and the housemate need to take legal and safety action now! . Call the police and get him the heck out.. ASAP!. Also... Get a few strong men to stay at your house so that you two are not alone with him for another minute!

icepick23 12

Friday 19 April 2013 21:07

Are you not hot enough that he would also want to see you in the shower?

AlexiAwesome 10

Friday 19 April 2013 21:08

Maybe it's time to kick a certain someone out???

Ms_ValS 27

Friday 19 April 2013 23:50

I wouldn't recommend trying to kick a clearly deranged person out. He might pick the lock at night and murder his former roommates. It's better for them to leave.