Love, Relationships, Sex and Family: By comparison, I'm doing OK - FML

By comparison, I'm doing OK

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, with my relationship in shambles, I reached out to my cousin who has been separated for a year. I asked her if she had any regrets, she said, “I wish I’d done what he said and sucked off his friend.” My spending issues now seems manageable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 185

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Same thing different taste

What is going on in this FML?

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 10:00

Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 807

Not a great start

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 00:00

Spicy

Today, barely 24 hours after we decided that yes, we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, I caught my “boyfriend” with his cock down my cousin's throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 188

Barely legal

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 05:00

Today, my husband told me that he and my cousin had been seeing each other for the past two months. The cousin I took in because my aunt kicked her out for dropping out of high school. I’ve clothed, fed and paid bills for this homewrecker. She’s barely 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 165

Collect the set

By Anonymous - 11/09/2022 22:30

Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 195

Back and forth and back again

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 19:37 - Guam - Barrigada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 055

You deserved it 3 934

Bad friend

By collegegirl90 - 09/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty, because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 970

You deserved it 112 617

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 2 685

Suspicious activity

By should I be worried? - 22/05/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who got married at 19 and divorced at 30, told me how much she regretted wasting all her “hot years” being a good and faithful wife to her ex. Oh and that she never got a “hoe-phase” in college like her friends. I think she’s fishing for my permission to cheat. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 178

By littl3storm - 12/05/2019 21:30

Spicy

Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 770

You deserved it 34 441

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 29 May 2022 15:06

Learn from your cousin's failures: Start sucking off your husband's friends for money. That'll fix all of your relationship problems.

Plop 17

Sunday 29 May 2022 16:45

Well, the "for money" part may not be entirely legal. But yeah, it's difficult spending money while giving ********.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 29 May 2022 15:06

Learn from your cousin's failures: Start sucking off your husband's friends for money. That'll fix all of your relationship problems.

Plop 17

Sunday 29 May 2022 16:45

Well, the "for money" part may not be entirely legal. But yeah, it's difficult spending money while giving ********.

slhiggx 17

Sunday 29 May 2022 16:21

I doubt your spending issues are manageable. But okay. Don’t compare problems.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 845

The Top

Today, I'm 4ft9 "tall" and I always have trouble reaching things that are high up. It's my birthday, and I got three footstools as gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 52

Today, I finally got a cable box for my TV. When I was connecting the cable, my tv fell and shattered the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 331

Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving around with my 20-month-old daughter not sat in a car seat. She told me I was overreacting, and that everything was fine since she “prayed for a safe journey.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 859

You deserved it 239

Today, my husband, who told me last week he was unhappy, wasn't in love with me anymore and is "talking" to someone else, asked me if I could give him the information for the people we've previously rented from, so he can move out. I gave him what I still had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 134

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 425

You deserved it 52 947

Today, after days of cleaning out pantry cabinets and throwing away infested food, I thought I had finally gotten rid of my moth problem. Then I vacuumed, and saw several dozen larvae coming out of my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 335

You deserved it 3 121