Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML
Today, after five years of working a soul-sucking dead end job, I was offered an amazing role in a new field. When the HR rep told me, I was so excited that I screamed at the top of my lungs, cheered like a maniac, and started laughing so hard I cried.I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm off my meds now. FML
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, I told my mom I lost 30 pounds because of an eating disorder. She told me to keep up the good work. FML
Today, I started the job of my dreams, which I’ve spent 20 years trying to get, only to get a call that my mom, who supported me when no one else would or could, went into a coma. I didn’t even get to tell her I started the job. FML
Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML
Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
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Top comments
Jiinxx 8
mothers. can't live with them, can't live without them.
ImaginaryFoe 0
Sure you would, tough guy. Watch out, we got a badass over here!
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Comments (43)
Link5794 18
gio4467 7
I feel you OP..,my mom did the same exact thing to me when I got into my dream college...ain't that a bitch
meepingoreos 6
What is your dream job? Why would you need to lose weight for it? Not being offensive, just wondering what the job is where you need to be skinny.