Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML
Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML
Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML
Today, at work, I broke the drinks machine for the third time. The first two times I broke the key, this time I switched it off and couldn't turn it back on after my manager warned me not to mess with it AFTER I had switched it off. The best part? The key is still broken from last time. FML
Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML
Today, I learned that my fiancée copied my house key early into our relationship. The reason being is that in case I were to catch her cheating, which I did, she could come in and trash my place when I called off the wedding. FML
Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML
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Top comments
Rynk95 11
Poor man. You made him feel sorry for nothing.
EricaCookies 0
It was the "!!!" and "LOL" that killed it for me.
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Comments (129)
aardvarkish 17
I think your subconscious is trying to tell you something.
lekiat 0
IDIOT!!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
if you fail once, try again. and if you fail twice, just go away...
morganpilling3 0
I'm a happy person
Tay_dertot 0
what's op? and Im new to fml so can someone please fill me in and not say things like "octopus ****" or "oral pleasure" & also what's pm on this stand for?
kc1997kc 9
original post. I don't know what pm is though...
kasumii 1
Private message. Never been on a community before?
Tay_dertot 0
thanks so muuch nd yeah I just have kinda felt stupid nd let it go all these timmes
iJasper 8
Tehe. . . xD
OCDC 9
*dick, effective Coming from your friendly neighborhood grammar Nazi :)
paradiseisland01 0
are you serious? know one I know can't be that stupid.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Oh my.
Djzom13 0
have you considered yourself?
daviddgaf 3
BLONDE!!!
kc1997kc 9
That's rude you ass! I'm a blond, but I am certainly not a moron. I bet I have a much higher IQ then you. You are an immature imbecile who needs to grow up and get a brain.
Deathmatch56 0
Wow you guys are assholes. Shit happens... oh well we all make mistakes.
CallMeHush 1
Twice?