Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
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Top comments
ImFrackinBored 13
...Well my question is: how many people liked it?
lekiat 0
well that blows
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Comments (160)
JTthePurpleNinja 5
or next time he goes down on you do the same and see if he likes it ?
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
you'll get the same result?
sakforduc 0
uh do you really think he'll mind? I wouldn't lol
JTthePurpleNinja 5
not if she says it was horrible :L
M00N25 0
two wrongs don't make a right
JTthePurpleNinja 5
nope, it makes revenge !
FMLidiot 12
I hope he didn't say something along the lines of "I JUST GOT HEAD!" At least my husband sugarcoats it with something like "I am KING OF THE WORLD!"
mischabelle 6
That's some unique and amusing sugar coating there.
rattusrattus 19
Whilst you are giving a ********, his penis is in the vicinity of your teeth. That's hardly 'King of the World', more 'at mercy of my lovely and delightful partner, who is demonstrating how lovely and delightful she is by giving me an enjoyable *******'. :P
blacky_2222 3
yea why you angry with him?
twizzlers1718 0
Retards these days.
blacky_2222 3
it's a joke you f**k, hey now I can say RETARDS THESE DAYS
ethang1996 0
that is not a joke you f**k, hey now I can say RETARDS THESE DAYS
klovemachine 24
This thread is full of losers. Now I can say RETARDS THESE DAYS :)
FMijnLeven 11
Hahahaa. You life litteraly sucks. ;D
vi3tno_romeo 5
didn't seem like he respect you or the sexual relationship at all.......
SIVES117 0
well that was very rude of him. Don't give him any more blow jobs
andyj1324 4
well someones not getting anymore ******** for awhile... maybe even forever from the OP
garrettsgirl 0
26 you are really cute if that is really what you look like just saying ;)
garrettsgirl 0
26 your really cute if that's what you really look like just saying :)
sakforduc 0
hey at least he didn't post it while you were giving him head. lol!
sakforduc 0
or better yet "check in" at my girlfriends mouth. Wow that would be priceless! I so gotta try that now!
Petunia888 13
This comment was more funny than the FML!
sakforduc 0
lol I will try it. So if you see an FML about it you know why! haha
matxjos 0
lol!!!
RandOmPhyXiO 5
how old is he 12 cause thats how hes acting
Youregiraffepee 0
I'm not sure if twelve year olds get ********?
ADRL17 0
you'd be surprised how many 12 year olds have sex now a days.
lilly25001 7
hahahahah...I'm 12 &&nooo we don't give blow jobs,but yes sum have sex..