Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Ruschlikon, Switzerland 🌶️ Spicy
Barbie squeaks
Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML
Top comments
RebeccaRFT 18
Yet if the boyfriend silently suffered all of you would say to tell her. Grow up people he didn't do anything wrong. No one is 'grateful' for bad sex. He said it creeps him out, and asked her to stop. He gets a vote on how he wants sex too.
TheNewGuy03 29
This is tough, namely because I had one solitary experience during which the woman screamed like a literal banshee and freaked me the **** out because 1) I thought I was hurting her and 2) other people can hear that shit and may think I'm raping the chick. My best advice would be to talk to him about it. If he has unreasonable expectations, then ... well, you know what to do.
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Comments (43)
Welshite 40
Well he's definitely not a hound dog. Elvis would be ashamed.
organizse 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ask him if he likes being single
R2Y2 22
I'm going to go on a limb and say that you haven't had a lasting relationship.
TheFount 21
Not with a waist like that. She probably doesn't stick around long enough to get feedback.
xx000o 27
No sex no squeak, problem solved.
cheeeksss 29
Problem solved? You mean OP shall never have sex for the rest of her life so she won't squeak again and that's your brilliant solution?
imabat 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tell him if he likes silent sex he can go back to using his hand.
cheeeksss 29
Damn. The boyfriend is being honest. Obviously he still wants to **** her which is why he confronted her about it. At least he has the balls to tell her and not just break up with her over it. In which case you would all be like "he's a douche, he shoulda told you"
MystoganFT 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
he should be grateful he's having sex at all.
Reider022 16
Another comment about someone being sorry for themselves cuz they ain't getting any get over yourself
Jesmassimo 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your boyfriend is a douchebag and needs to have his teeth handed to him lol ugh
TripleDallas123 15
Lmao now, it's called honesty and communicating as a couple should do. Being a douche would be breaking up with her for that.
cheeeksss 29
5, are you perfect in bed? No? Then don't be so quick to judge others. I'm glad this guy at least communicated with OP.
9a_1z 12
I think the FML is more about finding out she sounds creepy in bed, even if her boyfriend is the most tactful person in the world it's still a sad thing to find out. Fortunately most people deal with bruised egos by learning and getting over it rather than ditching the people who are honest with them.
SiraSiemens 21
see thats why people always say "just be yourself" cuz then everybody can easily know that you are a bad person
GeorgiaBea 28
I have several thoughts on this- were you aware that you did that? If so, it is for his benefit? If it's just natural then talk to him about it... Communication is the key to a great sex life.
Kermy1113 23
Isn't that what they do in ****?
fatal4life 10
How would you know?
DamnBailie 23
Cause many girls watch ****.
Distantsoul 8
They do actually
EmperorChowilio 21
it's annoying there to.
TheNewGuy03 29
This is tough, namely because I had one solitary experience during which the woman screamed like a literal banshee and freaked me the **** out because 1) I thought I was hurting her and 2) other people can hear that shit and may think I'm raping the chick. My best advice would be to talk to him about it. If he has unreasonable expectations, then ... well, you know what to do.
gamermonster 34
Hey, at least she didn't call you someone else
TheNewGuy03 29
Still one of the most awkward moments of my life. I have been called someone else before by a girl I was dating, but not during sex.
RebeccaRFT 18
Yet if the boyfriend silently suffered all of you would say to tell her. Grow up people he didn't do anything wrong. No one is 'grateful' for bad sex. He said it creeps him out, and asked her to stop. He gets a vote on how he wants sex too.
TheNewGuy03 29
Finally, an unbiased comment! People forget that sexual intercourse is a *mutual* experience. If one person is always doing what the other wants, then it ceases to be enjoyable.
mds9986 24
People also forget the don't have to agree with the OP.
DoomedGemini 38
Good on the boyfriend for communicating, but it's still embarrassing and kinda sucks for op. F both their lives.
bitt3rgrace 21
He's not a bad boyfriend for communicating that something makes him uncomfortable. Imagine how awkward it must be to have sex with someone that makes weird noises. If it's something he really can't tolerate then he'll have to get over it or move on, but it doesn't mean that he's a douche for not liking to stick it in a "squeaky toy". Y'all are the douches for being so quick to judge.
ThrottleJockey 36
Don't hate. Squeaky toys need loving too.
xaddrus 17
he could be less of a **** though. “belittling” is not the same as “communicating” their boundaries. imma be slow to judge, hmmmm, that yea he’s still a ****