Jesmassimo

miss
About Jesmassimo
What is the point anymore....... ? ~Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups. Anche se la lingua non ha ossa , si può rompere le ossa con la lingua
Jesmassimo - Followed
Jesmassimo's FML badges
  • Beginner

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  • Socialite

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  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Profile completed

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  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

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  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Tommy Wiseau

    You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
    6%
  • I'm a rock star

    You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
    3%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    21%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    9%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    18%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    32%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    4%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    8%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Gandhi

    You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
    2%
The list of badges to find
Jesmassimo's favorite FMLs

mercumorr tells us more.

OP here! It was in no way meant as harassment and definitely wasn't a serious question towards anyone! And no, it's not a sex shop! We manufacture eye wear :) For those asking for the weirder things: 1. A 36 year old man asked me out twice 2. The same man has been fired and escorted out by police for parole violations (convicted of owning/distributing child porn a few years ago, if you're interested) 3. An old woman has bent a young black man over a table and spanked him with a ruler 4. Found out that the nice, grandfatherly old man actually says creepy sexual things about the young girls he finds attractive. My favorite being, "I need some bubble wrap to hide my woody" 5. Gotten asked if I wear my beanie during sex because no one has seen me without my hat since my first day 6. Found a LARGE clump of pubic hair in a bathroom stall. Someone was actually trimming their pubes at work. 7. Recently had the bathrooms soundproofed because you could hear people having violent diarrhea from the conference rooms right next door. Guess it ruined the CEOs' catered meetings a little too often. 7. Heard a mentally challenged man frequently discuss popping his blow up dolls, porn preferences, and how he sometimes gets the urge to masturbate in the bathroom. Still employed with us, but thankfully got transferred downstairs to the lab. 8. Heard a couple guys make sexual comments about the woman who delivers the mail to each department, not knowing that she is actually my mother 10. A guy came in on heroine and took dick pics on the elevator. While someone was right next to him. I left quite a few out to keep this from going on too long, but there's some of my favorites. I find most of these things pretty funny and I don't wanna be the reason anyone loses their job, so I don't plan on reporting anything!

BabsZilla tells us more.

OP Here. To answer some questions and lay down some facts. My housemate and I lived with my parents for a long time until I turned 18, then we had a house all lined up, and we moved out together about 15 minutes away. Not far, I am still in High School, and I wanted to remain close to my parents. I am of legal age here in Cali, and we are "careful" (Meaning we have safe sex with the pull-out method and birth control) My parents came into our house with the spare key I gave my mother for EMERGENCIES and planted 28 nanny-cams EVERYWHERE! We had to go through every piece of furniture and decor that we have to find them all. She called me literally 5 minutes after we finished having our "fun" to tell me she was watching me. I love my mum, but if this was to "protect" me, that's taking it too far. Thanks for commenting. Needless to say, we only have sex in the bedroom now...