Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 883 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 553 You deserved it 2 649
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 739 You deserved it 21 332
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 483 You deserved it 45 205
Today, I started a part-time job at a nursery. One of the kids asked me if I was single, so I explained to her that I am with another woman. My boss fired me on the spot for "acting inappropriately". FML I agree, your life sucks 5 491 You deserved it 1 292
Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 262 You deserved it 1 518
Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 895 You deserved it 135
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.