Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML
Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML
Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
christophbak 14
1. Learn the cockatoo a nursey rhyme 2. You and the baby fall asleep easily 3. ??? 4. Profit!
Ramb0 20
This is why you get dogs.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
militarybrat 21
Newborn. Four hours of sleep. Lucky!
mekiswrite 21
Have you tried tossing a blanket over his cage? that normally says bedtime
cheshireau 26
I'm a bird lover. I have 16 of them. You need to be able to split your time between the two, or at least have you partner spend time with it. It will get depressed and it will pluck it's feather. You should contact an Avain Vet or expert in your area to help you. Congratulations on you baby, though.
meghanclean 17
Congratulations on your baby! I know all parents hate getting parenting advice, but have you tried co sleeping/bed sharing with your little one that way you know the baby is crying instead of the bird?
sunflower_seal 17
Aw , well it sees it gamers your attention which is probably why
Korra_fml 23
really puts the "****" in "cockatoo", doesn't it?
3yellowzebras 19
Rub it in! You are so lucky! I'd kill for 4 hours sleep ! I don't get that with my 7 month old!
meghanclean 17
I have a 3 mo old and same..
geekpower_fml 28
I'd kill for a pet cockatoo, actually!
bad_boyfriend 10
I had a roommate who had a cockatoo once....never again. Those birds are just loud assholes.
ThrottleJockey 36
Get a raw chicken and start frying it while maintaining eye contact with your bird. It'll get the hint.
Selene6996 12
And this is why I keep fish yes cleaning schedule is demanding sure but does not mess with my sleep or my family's sleep!