Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML
Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML
Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
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Top comments
christophbak 14
1. Learn the cockatoo a nursey rhyme 2. You and the baby fall asleep easily 3. ??? 4. Profit!
Ramb0 20
This is why you get dogs.
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Comments (32)
JHamm2121 15
Time to kill the bird!! Cockatoo, it's what's for dinner.
thathobothere 17
Get a feral cat, both problems solved.