Today, a guy diagnosed with ALS and months to live told me he didn’t envy my job. Definitely including this on my end of year performance review… FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML
Today, I learned that the co-worker who was out sick for months, whom I covered down for, received a much larger cash award than I did. This is despite me working there longer, taking on additional details, and receiving a glowing annual review. FML
Today, my boss announced he will be taking bereavement leave due to his father passing away. For some reason I’ll never understand, I got the urge to laugh. I tried so hard to hold it in but it was very obvious. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t be able to write this. FML
Today, my dad told me, in the form of a soliloquy, to have a better attitude about death and dying. I have terminal cancer. FML
Today, my boss told me that due to a colleague resigning, I have to do some of her job until they find a replacement. I asked if I’ll be getting compensated for the extra work/time, and he said no because of budget issues. I said that wasn’t fair. He responded, “Well, life ain’t fair, get used to it.” FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I was talking to for over a year, who told me he was dying from Covid, is perfectly fine and he just didn't want to talk to me anymore. FML
Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML
Today, as I'm terminally ill and have less than a year to live, I told my wife that she could see other men so long as she continued to care for me until I passed. She clapped and cheered. FML
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Top comments
meisiemeisie 8
I'm confused, why would a dying man envy your job? Or any job at all??
RichardPencil 32
What's your job? Are you his butt-wiper?
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
What's your job? Are you his butt-wiper?
meisiemeisie 8
I'm confused, why would a dying man envy your job? Or any job at all??