Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
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Top comments
yatoast 0
poor kid for having to endure the smell and sound of someone else poo
brookiebaby16 1
at least he's honest
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Comments (305)
ShadowPunkChick 1
Ok your 5 year old son is a bit old now to be in the woman's bathroom..and why the hell would you put him in the stall with you, if you must bring him into the bathroom make him wait outside the stall.
randomlover 0
5? he's wayto old to be actin like he's 3 he need to know how to keep his mouth shut you gotta tear that ass up
MoJoThundRpants 0
BEAT YOUR ******* KIDS
ohthebloodygore 16
Stay away from my kid.
Erindub 0
As for feeding the troll... I don't really care what he does with my insult. I had fun doing it ; )
krustacea 1
haha
MoJoThundRpants 0
yes
Cuppycake1488 0
no:(
keepyourbullshit 0
shit happens.
nismo_r2 5
ydi for taking a dump at the grocery store. hold that shit until u get home.
buzzerbeeeeee 0
looks like someone had diarrhea of the mouth.... :)
Melindhra 0
ydi for breeding.