Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
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Top comments
yatoast 0
poor kid for having to endure the smell and sound of someone else poo
brookiebaby16 1
at least he's honest
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Comments (305)
iron_chefITALY 0
and they would think 59 is an alien
iron_chefITALY 0
and they would think59 is an alien and 60 is going to die a virgin
Schizomaniac 24
For God's sake, use the freaking reply button.
KaarmaaBiitchzz 0
mars attak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
meeeewa 0
that's funny
xMaNNiNGx119 0
really who cares your probably never gonna see them again in your life
iron_chefITALY 0
really FFML, cuz u seemed to find it pretty easy last night
ohthebloodygore 16
My god man. Learn to reply. Besides FFML is too gorgeous to be with someone of your status.
bfflrhea 0
number 14 is retarded. its not thr fault, thwy had to shit!
iron_chefITALY 0
FFML, its kind of like the statue of liberty, you cant miss it;)
iron_chefITALY 0
all u idiots telling me 2 use the reply button it's called a comment bug
ohthebloodygore 16
No, it's not. It's working perfectly for us. :]
KenKaniff 0
Oh shut up sweetie, give me your ass like you always do
bigboylilz 0
god your a tool and a guido ****. and 30 is gorgeous an isn't a ****.
iron_chefITALY 0
106, u like men named sam?
iron_chefITALY 0
jess, dont make me spank u, 111, look at ur picture you arent fooling anyone, 112, good to know, like i said before i just dont like shemales
KenKaniff 0
But you like my dick in your ass, oh yeah
rockr_chick 5
shhhhh just shhhh please