Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
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Top comments
Dswank620 18
Send him some nudes in the midst of his t.v. watching
darwinism 30
Next time tell him "Honey, can you turn your voume down? I like to hear my vibrator as it pleases me"
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Comments (87)
lylotrezor 20
Time for a "no phones allowed in the room" rule?
buddy51 23
OP- Maybe he thought the NSA was watching you guys have sex through the tv? Maybe he thinks his iphone is a safer bet for privacy? Did he shout "FALSE FLAG!!" as he hauled it out of the bedroom?
djxerxes9000 18
They say tv's in the bedroom greatly increase divorce rates. Divorce rates are high enough.
QueenVicHop 12
Uhh, that's when you take a little initiative and take his phone (respectfully) and start things going yourself. Guys like when women are aggressive just as much as when women are aggressive.
imtooshy 18
I'm confused, if it was HIM that removed the tv for a better sex life, I'm lost as to why HE is on the phone? This would make more sense if you had removed it hoping for "more". Either way, sorry OP. hope it gets better.
RedPillSucks 33
Let him do it doggy style so he can rest the phone (or tablet, or 40 inch HDTV) on your back. Two birds, one stone.
imbedderdenu 23
wtf?! lame ass!!
samaraperez 7
tell him to take his phone to another room. or make a rule that phones are to be turned off. before 9 or 10
davikiin 6
This is a crazy idea... Seduce him?
rockydify 22
Give it a few weeks of acclimatization. Watching TV in bed is very addictive. In the meantime, send him some nudies or just commence sex on him.