Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
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Top comments
Dswank620 18
Send him some nudes in the midst of his t.v. watching
darwinism 30
Next time tell him "Honey, can you turn your voume down? I like to hear my vibrator as it pleases me"
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Comments (87)
worldclassrager 41
Take his phone away...or make that an introduction...
DJisHere11 19
#22 Well, that's why they don't get laid.
graceinsheepwear 34
40, I see you are pretty young. I hope you move past your desire to isolate. Human interaction is life and I do hope for your sake that you embrace it in all its messy, painful, glorious forms.
NagainaFier 16
Am I the ONLY person who noticed OP's name has '99' on the end? I hope to God that's along the lines of 'been married since 99', not 'I was born in 99.'
migueljm5 18
At least he tried
x3jmac27 22
I say you should strip naked then get on the bed nicely take away his phone and see if that gets his attention? Orrr maybe you should talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you deel. Good luck he will come around
reaxion 25
Tell him he has a choice. Either TV or other device watching is banned in favour of sex, or he is banned from the bedroom, permanently, and can sleep on the damn sofa.
DarthVader77 9
If my woman EVER tried blackmailing me, I would have kicked her out
outoftown 27
He's not really clear on the concept, is he?
NPN_Scorpio 16
He switched to a smaller screen to make his pornbabes look tighter.
bbpgrs 7
maybe the tv just interests him more?