Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
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Top comments
Dswank620 18
Send him some nudes in the midst of his t.v. watching
darwinism 30
Next time tell him "Honey, can you turn your voume down? I like to hear my vibrator as it pleases me"
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Comments (87)
NSN82 13
It sounds like the reason why nothing is happening is because you're waiting on him to initiate it. I'm sure if you came on to him first he would put the phone away. Let him know that he's not the only one who wants it.
CrissyyyS2 22
The husband is the one that removed it in the first place to improve their sex life. Maybe she did try to go onto him but he's like "Babe, I'm watching something here".
NSN82 13
He obviously has an addiction to television which isn't going to fix itself. I'm just saying she should at least make an effort to make things happens. If he pushes her away or is uninterested, then they should sit down and talk about it. If his addiction is that bad, then waiting for him to make the first move isn't going to solve anything.
Gunguy 11
So he moved the TV for the sake of sex, and yet still watches videos on his phone? His priorities are ****** up.
RedPillSucks 33
He has no ******* priorities
chuka81 27
Phones, T.Vs and Computers, the secret weapons of machine used to deprieve humans of a social or sex life. Aim: To reduce procreation and world population. To create a world where humans do not interact physically. Consequence: The war between man and robot would be lost by man since they would be out-numbered and out-sexed. The robots are fired up and ready to go. Dooms day is here.
tiatialiu 6
remove his iPhone from bedroom too.
dallaschloe2 15
That's what I was thinking! It's weird
RoxiLady 10
The married kind.
DorklyComicFan 8
Well, it depends on what the show is. If it's Breaking Bad, then it's understandable.
catanita 18
Remove his iPhone from the bedroom.
robotiick7 23
13- I do because I'm a forever alone
Cristian89 29
Sext him some naughty pics of yourself while he is watching tv on his phone....might get him in the mood instantly. It initiates it and let's him know you want the "D"