Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
Today, I’m a 28 year-old information security professional living at my parent’s apartment, and I preferred to literally hide under the bed for an hour, instead of facing some unexpected family relatives. FML
Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML
Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, my roommate finally moved out yesterday, so I got to experience my first night without the ticking time bomb that is his dogs. I still woke up at the exact time when they would always bark for no reason, apparently out of habit. For the record, that time is around 3 AM. FML
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML
Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML
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Top comments
cosicosei 22
call a friend over fora night or two! or get a dog, he'll keep ya safe :)
mzmush 2
Maybe if you get to know your neighbors it may help or accept the fact there are ghosts at your place and just welcome them
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Comments (111)
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
Or you could grow up a little, and maybe install a burglar alarm?xxxxxx
stevenJB 25
OP is just paranoid. There are plenty of paranoid independent people out there
ihaveasushicat 24
Did your finger get stuck on the "x" button?
Bakarra 22
@14: It's also hard moving to a place where you live by yourself after living with others for so long. It's not always paranoia.
Becca1967 1
"Care to explain how one would go about growing up a little, #1? I'm sure there are plenty of impatient children who have been waiting to hear this." Hell, I'm sure there are plenty of us "adults" that have been waiting to hear this...
jarrettd 27
If i'm alone for more than a day i start to get paranoid. It just will take some getting used to.
iammeorami 25
Like me....
meihua 19
Or OP could just keep pepper spray closer
asnakelovinbabe 16
You could also install some cobras in addition. No joke, I actually know a guy who kept a few cobras in fancy enclosures in his living room, and he ended up hearing two guys breaking into his house in the middle of the night. As he reached for his gun, he heard them start flipping out and cursing about the snakes, and ended up booking it right back through the window they came through.
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
#22 OP said that she's "not ready to be an adult" in my mind that means she thinks she's immature, hense telling her to grow up a little. I didn't mean to start a fight/offend anyone lol xxxxxxxx
israelnotjacob 20
You're not even quite 20 and you're living in a house all by yourself? No, you're not ready. Being 18 or older doesn't make you an adult. The mere fact that you clearly think that proves you're not ready.
bluehero 17
Actually being 18 does make you technically an adult. She wanted to started acting like one and got her own place and was scared of burglars, how is that immature and meaning she should grow up? She just isn't used to being alone.
sayyestothedress 24
@#113 I agree with you but where ok the FML doesn't say that OP is 18?
cosicosei 22
call a friend over fora night or two! or get a dog, he'll keep ya safe :)
EsotericBrent 29
2 has the right idea! Find a guy to keep you company, and in the off chance someone is in the house, just use him as a meat shield
DogsPaw 16
Find a dog, way better and they have 10X better hearing, and sharp teeth :)
courtney680 17
Get a roommate?(:
tjv3 10
Pepper spray and a knife? You are in Texas get a gun .
Treyzania 16
Or a boyfriend!
spekledworf 18
I have a dog that would bark at everything from a squirrel to the whistle of the wind. But the one time a man actually broke in as 19 year old me was home alone, the dog didn't make a peep.
Shoot_A_Glock 6
Get a gun and keep it on your hip
rldostie 19
She/he seems way to jumpy to handle the responsibility of a gun.
gc327072 31
^true. I like guns, but they're not appropriate for everyone.
wlddog 14
In this case, I would recommend a big dog with that gun. The dog will let you know if there is a problem, and will buy you time in the gun is ever needed. I recommend a glock and a german shepard. Will be the safest house on the block.
gc327072 31
^considering #3's username, and your picture, I can't say I didn't see this coming.
SuperDanielNL 23
Why don't you get a genetically enhanced german shephard that can actually carry a Glock?
mzmush 2
Maybe if you get to know your neighbors it may help or accept the fact there are ghosts at your place and just welcome them
siberianhamster 17
Sounds like you're a sensational headline waiting to happen.
rldostie 19
Get a dog. It will do wonders for your sense of security and companionship.
B5B0N35 18
i love dogs doesnt everyone
im_joking 11
a German Shepard named Tank will work wonders!
DDCA 24
A pitbull named Anubis seems to be working great for me.
wlddog 14
I approve of 16's post. Except "Tank" is not always required. Sometimes its nice to call a dog by a much smaller dog name, so they jack-off doesn't know what is coming. "Here Sprinkles!" (Giant monster rounds corner, bad guy wets his own pants)
im_joking 11
#64 that's pretty funny too!
HeartOfLead 24
OP should call their dog "Hydra", then he'll sleep like a baby.
B5B0N35 18
uh thats creepy check your back at all times
wellhungwhiteman 3
Hi
jojo52 4
ninja mode activated
Talooka 10
Hey, one day there actually WILL be someone there and you'll be prepared. It won't be me. I'm serious.
Interwebzombie 15
Your username is quite descriptive.
xr0517 10
i didnt notice...it's really funny
Sandman366 6
I did notice - I loved it.