Today, I was talking to my girlfriend when she said, "Babe, I'm not trying to be rude but your cum tastes horrible." I didn't know how to respond so I said, "Okay." Apparently, me saying that means i won't try to make my cum taste better, which I can "definitely do", and now she's mad at me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to have a conversation about sex. After she finished telling me what she liked, in exact detail, I said, "Well, I really like…" She cut me off and said, "I don't give a fuck what you like." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML
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Top comments
TeacherTeem 21
Drink pineapple juice. I once broke up with a guy cause I didn’t like how his cum tasted so be careful.
mechgineer 3
Eat less red meat
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Comments (2)
TeacherTeem 21
Drink pineapple juice. I once broke up with a guy cause I didn’t like how his cum tasted so be careful.
BurnInDemonFire 35
That's an oddly specific reason to end a relationship. Not "we don't communicate anymore", nor "you slept with my (insert family member/best friend here)", but "dude, your cum is nasty. GTFO." Did no one tell you that you're not required to taste it if you don't like it? Or is there more to this, and the gross-tasting cum was from the first BJ you gave him, and it happened to be the proverbial straw after many other straws?
mechgineer 3
Eat less red meat