Relatable

Out of step

By inexperienced - 19/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm 25. I dropped out of college when I was 19 because I didn't fit in. I was developmentally behind and looked like a fifteen year-old. All of high school I was excluded. I'm back in college now, but everyone still feels more mature than me. I no longer look or act young for my age due to years of stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 235

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my bank, being overly paranoid about fraud, declined my Christmas purchase on Amazon because I usually don't spend that much all at once. Instead of Amazon simply asking to try the card again, they instead switched to a different card in the wallet. Which would be fine, except it's a shared family account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 142

Alexa, play "Just Like Christmas" by Low

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 16:00 - North Macedonia

Today, I put Christmas wrapping on old books and things I already own, because I realized that it's the only way I'll have anything under the tree this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 112

Time to get the hell out of Dodge

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Newberg

Today, as with most days, I’m reminded of how little my husband thinks of me. He makes me hate myself everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 158

Best teeth in the game

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 17/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I had to get three teeth pulled. That would've been fine if they were all on the same side of my mouth. Nope, two were on the upper left and one on the bottom right. I kept thinking my upper lip was gauze it was so numb, and I kept drooling like a baby. I've barely been able to eat as it's so sore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 106

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I hit a low point when I changed the AI Snapchat bot's Bitmoji to look identical to my ex-girlfriend's Bitmoji and have a conversation with it just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 511

Thanks, Bill

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was busy writing my English final paper and all of a sudden my computer just chose to freeze. I thought Microsoft Word would save it, but alas, 4 pages down the dumpster. Plus my earphones stopped working and I can't afford to buy a new pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 194

Congratulations!

By Sad boi - 16/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I did the math: I have suffered from crippling depression for a third of my entire existence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 120

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I procrastinated so much on asking out the guy I like that this morning I had to wish him a happy first wedding anniversary. Yes, I procrastinated so much that he had time to date someone else, get engaged and married, and make it to the first anniversary, and I still love him. God I’m pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 865

Cheating with the showerhead

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 135

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 12:00 - Egypt

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 95

Harsh words

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 881

Clever

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I'd been really clever by setting my alarm ten minutes earlier to get up on time. I did wake up ten minutes earlier… then promptly fell back asleep for another hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 463

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I found out that at my work they are cutting one and a half of our departments, and I might need to find a new job. The problem is it's going to be really hard to get new job, as nowhere will want to hire someone who needs surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 86

Handle with care

By Bad day to be my toes - 08/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 192

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 585

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 166

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 538

The struggle is real

By nitemastr15 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while shopping for Black Friday, I got in line, hoping to get an Xbox One. I spent so long mistakenly standing in line for the bathroom that the store had sold out by the time I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 076

You deserved it 14 800

nitemastr15 tells us more.

nitemastr15 17

Tuesday 30 August 2016 6:06

Ok guys, OP here. Just to clarify, me and my brother each decided that I would get the PS4 and he would get the X-box One. He didn't have the money for his when I had the money for mine and he was really bummed out so I decided I was going to buy the console he wanted with my money and wait for my PS4. Fortunately though, he received an X-box One from his girlfriend the next day so it's actually a good thing I didn't end up being able to get one.

Pet alert

By K.A. - 29/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 165

No fun

By Anonymous - 28/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 86

Forever alone

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 456

You deserved it 6 957

Contracted

By Anonymous - 24/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I finally got an offer for a salaried position with the company I've been working for as a contractor for the past two years. They offered less than what I make now, but hey, benefits! FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 125

Plough me out

By Snow joke, I feel like hell - 24/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, snow finally arrived in my area, in very large quantities. Also today, I seem to have caught my dad's cold. The town is too snowed in for traveling and my medications are running low, so I guess we'll suffer together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 116

Turned out OK

By Lauren - 24/11/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found my high school diary and decided to read it for nostalgia. My teenage self wrote, “Future me will totally be rich, famous, and married to Chris Hemsworth by 30.” I’m 32, single, and googling “How to fix a clogged toilet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 188

Vote of confidence

By CrematedOrMoppedUp - 23/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Spicy

Today, I learnt that I could be happy and free from the negative emotions brought on by my ongoing clashes with my fiancée. All it took were some tears in front of my mum for her to assure me that it's okay to be alone and single, and to do whatever is best for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 208

Confused as hell

By Anonymous - 23/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into the kitchen to grab a snack, only to forget why I was there. I left and remembered what I wanted, but when I came back, I forgot again. I did this three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 195

Let's get this done

By Sara - 20/11/2024 09:00 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, while waiting for gallbladder removal surgery, I have to stop taking the anti-acid medication that's helping me not have attacks, because my iron level is too low for surgery and the pills make it so that I can't absorb iron easily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 77

Karma wins again

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 576

Poor planning

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to be extra productive and washed all my clothes at once, including my bedding. I hung everything to dry and only realized too late that I had no dry sheets to sleep in. I ended up sleeping on a bare mattress, wrapped in a bath towel, like some kind of sad burrito. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 483

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Keywords

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The Top

The Top

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 2 543

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 251

You deserved it 3 281

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward two hours of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 758

You deserved it 4 480

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 436

You deserved it 45 900

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. The kicker is, I'm 5 months pregnant and didn't even know it - no symptoms, nothing. I thought it was weight gain due to antidepressants and I'm also dealing with financial issues. I'm too far along to get an abortion, and adoption is not an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 462

Today, my parents found out I was having sex because I was digging for something in my purse and I inadvertently pulled out some condoms. I was kicked out of their house, because if I’m “old enough to lay down with another man” I’m old enough to get my own place. I work at Chipotle part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 185