Relatable

Keep your distance

By Gale - 14/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 492

Romance is dead

By Dead Bedrooms, here i come - 13/03/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 125

Friends for life

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush and best friend got a new girlfriend, with the same interests him and I share. Despite us being compatible in interests, he just never saw me in a romantic way. When I asked if we’re so alike, what does she have that I don’t? He said, “Trust me, you don’t want to know the answer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 658

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 158

Dishwasher issues

By 3Airwalk3 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 110

You deserved it 36 574

Past glory

By Olivia - 09/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I attended my high school reunion and was feeling good about the gym progress I’d made. Looking fabulous, I was ready to relive my glory days when I got into a conversation with someone I didn’t recognize. He had to remind me that we were in the same chemistry class for two years. I had no idea who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 430

Hangry

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 702

How are people still doing this?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I texted my friend to ask if she wanted to grab lunch. She didn't respond, so I followed up with, "You alive? Or just avoiding me?" An hour later, I realized I'd texted my boss. He replied with a very professional, "I’m alive, thank you for asking. Lunch is a bit early for me today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 495

Dinner date

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 222

Comforting

By imaginationdarling - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 779

You deserved it 7 382

Giving up my exes for Lent

By Infinimaster - 07/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was having a great night, until I went to church for Ash Wednesday. I walked in the door and let the other ushers know I was there. All was going fine until I happened to glance over at the front doors of the church and see my ex walking in. My mood was shit for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 402

Quality fabric

By louise - 06/03/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I wore a new shirt I was really pleased to have bought. As soon as I put it on, I noticed it was a bit tight, but I thought it would stretch out. By the end of the day, I looked like I was wearing a sausage casing. My coworkers couldn’t stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 405

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 620

Hang in there, man

By FuhhTynderMaye - 04/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out I got HIV. I’ve used condoms with all my Tinder hookups and never shared needles or anything with anyone. I was supposed to have a Tinder date tonight. Guess I’ll just be single forever then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 333

FOMO

By jon - 03/03/2025 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I woke up feeling unlovable after my ex left me for a wealthy BMW owner last week. I clocked into my job at CVS. I had a teenage surfer guy purchasing magnum condoms, a drunk guy buying liquor with two hot blondes around his shoulders, and my high school crush came in to buy plan B. My youth is passing me by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 139

Unboyfriendable

By Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 105

Stinker

By taman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 440

You deserved it 5 481

Practicality

By Nicole C - 25/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years left me for another girl he’s known for 3 months, just because she’s closer. Never mind that I was the one who remained faithful to him for 2 long years, got him through the deaths of his parents, gave him money when he fell on hard times, among other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 155

Ninja!

By Today I closed every door on every floor of my building - 23/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Hampstead

Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 96

Pipe down!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 98

That one special feeling

By Chris - 23/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went to a job interview, and halfway through my perfectly rehearsed answers, my stomach started growling loudly. I tried to keep calm, but then it let out the most embarrassing noise I’ve ever heard. The interviewer paused what he was saying, then said, "Are you hungry or do you need to fart?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 102

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 21/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after a year and a half of being with who I thought was the love of my life, we broke up. It was mutual, and even though they emotionally cheated in the beginning, hiding messages, and lying to me about things, I feel like a failure for not making it work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 129

There's still hope, somewhere…

By John - 21/02/2025 09:00

Today, like every day for the past few weeks, I watched the richest man in the world, who was never elected to any office, tear my government apart to make himself and his friends richer. We're so fucked. I'm so afraid for my family and loved ones. I don't know how to cope or protect them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 478

Dank

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a weird smell in my apartment. I checked everywhere but couldn’t find the source. After a while, I discovered the smell was coming from the pile of laundry I'd left in the corner, laundry that I thought was clean. It was the gym clothes I'd thrown in there three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 628

Apocalypse snow

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I shoveled the driveway because there's enough snow to block my car. Overnight we're supposed to get six more inches of snow. It's like shoveling the driveway is a waste of time because more snow gets piled on it the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 149

I like what I like

By Anime - 17/02/2025 03:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I realized that after years of watching Hentai I can only ejaculate while hearing Anime voices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 664

New model

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, the man I've been with for ten years left me for a coworker he's known for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 84

Sacrifice

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Gainesville

Today, it's Valentine’s Day and the woman for whom I gave up my traveling $100,000 day job, and two luxurious vehicles for a trailer and a dog, now says she doesn’t want to get married because I have to work a POS job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 657

Losing my mind

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 392

The spark is gone

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, my husband of 16 years had to force himself to be intimate with me. In his words, not because he’s not attracted to me but because he no longer has emotions or feelings towards me. I’m still deeply in love and had to force intimacy because now I feel like I’m just a means to an end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 145

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The Top

Today, the management office of my apartment building announced it will be keeping packages in the office until you can pick them up. They also posted new hours. There will be someone in the office once a week, for two hours only. I work those two hours, every single week. No more mail for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 713

You deserved it 881

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 153

You deserved it 4 068

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 992

You deserved it 2 525

Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 95

Today, after I learned a long time ago that it's prudent to smell your shredded cheese as with milk to check its freshness, that lesson came into play when I doubted the quality of some cheese my roommate was going to use for nachos. I smelled it and got the dry heaves from the stink. He can't smell anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 104

Today, I woke up with a really annoying bogey blocking my nose. Eventually, I just covered the other nostril and snorted as hard as I could. Good news, it came flying out. Bad news, it landed in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 376